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how do i end a relationship?

hi reachout, fox here

so lately (the past 6 months) me and my partner have been fighting... alot, about the fact i cant see her most days. and ive honestly just had enough. we'll fight from around 4pm to 1 in the morning (taking out any time that various responcibilities take up) about 2-3 times a week, and i cant change anything to resolve our problems, and neither can she. i know it sounds bad to say but some of my worst memoreis have now become those fights, and i just cant keep doing it, its killing me inside and i want to do somthing before id does on the outside. now, she isnt isnt the most ... stable person there is so the old "i cant do this anymore" not only dosnt work but sends her into a rather wreck of a state...
so basically im trying to get out of a relationship thats killing me but i cant becuase itll end up killing her...

 

sorry if this message dosnt make sence... i havnt slept in a week

 

-fox

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Re: how do i end a relationship?

Hey @Transparent_fox 

 

I'm really sorry to hear that things are so crappy with your relationship at the moment. Have you found a moment to talk this over with a friend or counsellor or someone you trust?

Sometimes making big decisions when you're feeling overwhelmed and exhausted can be tricky. It might help to get some feedback from a third party who isn't as affected.

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Re: how do i end a relationship?

woah man, just remember she may say she will kill herself and shit but its most likely she wont. I will be blunt, there is no good way to dump someone so best off to just do it now before it goes to long and makes it even worse.
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Re: how do I end a relationship?

Hi guys, thanks for taking the time to reply

@NigioC  uh yea... I have some troubles opening up to people and that's kinda why I came here

@paris149  sadly, I know she will, its something she trying to get help with, but its not working great and still has the tendency to do stupid things

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Re: how do i end a relationship?

hmm wow thats really complex id get a counsellpr involved so they can hold her in a suicide watch if it happens
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Re: how do i end a relationship?

Hey @Transparent_fox 

 

You're definitley doing the right thing by trying to work out a way to end the relationship without hurting your partner.You said that the relationship is killing you but that if you broke it off it would kill her as she is not a very "stable" person. I think the most important thing to remember in this situation is that you have to help yourself before you can help others. Now this might be a clichéd example, but it is like being in a plane crash, where a parent has to put an oxygen mask on themselves  before putting in on their children. Because if they didn't, they would end up passing out themselves from lack of oxygen before they can help anyone, either their kid or themselves! The same thing applies to you. It will be even more difficult for you to try and help your partner (or ex-partner) as they go through a difficult thing like a break up, if you are feeling worn down and emotionally drained. That is why in this case, I advise you do what you think is best for you, while doing it in a way that considers your partner's feelings. And, as @paris149 suggested, maybe telling someone beforehand to look out for her before you do it could take some of the pressure off you. This way, you can know that after you break up and you can't be there for her anymore, someone else like her friend or family member can be. 

 

You sound like a very caring person who is trying to do the right thing, so I hope this helps you make your decision.

 

Gabi