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i am struggling (maybe tw but idk)

I am really not coping i am trying so hard but i am exhausted and i have been fighting the eating issues so much but i cant anymore even going near food just makes me cry and it is even affecting how much i drink so i am constantly dehydrated as well and tired and weak. i cant sleep because i am too hungry all the time and i cant concentrate in class anymore i feel like i am in a dream and cant stop it. i just dont have the energy to fight anymore even when i do it is still too much to deal with and i am barely keeping up with university i have no professional supports at the moment and i am struggling to keep up with everyday tasks like cleaning and washing and i just feel like no matter how hard i try nothing ever works especially with the eating stuff i know i will never win that battle or even come to a truce. i have already tried seeing someone for it and now where i am living there is literally not a single adult eating disorders program public or private and i cant find anyone who specialises in it either. i just cant do this i cant fight it anymore. 

Re: i am struggling (maybe tw but idk)

Hey there @Eden1717 ,

I'm sorry to hear how tough things are for you right now. It can be so hard when it feels like nothing is changing despite how much you're trying. That effort isn't going to waste though, you are trying so hard despite not having any support, have you spoken to your GP about possible professional support? 


I noticed in your other thread as well that you started uni, what are you studying? Often universities can have some great resources such as counselors and disability support to help you with your studies. This thread here from one of our other users has some great tips on what support you can get at uni, if you'd like to check it out Smiley Happy 


Do you have anything on tonight that can act as a distraction? I am logging off very soon, but we'll always be here to listen. 


I am finishing with ReachOut this week, say good-bye here. I'll miss you all!

Re: i am struggling (maybe tw but idk)

I don't really know how to help, but I'm always here to chat if you need be.
Except that I have school at 8:40am and don't finish till 2:40pm. But before and after that I am always on RO.

Re: i am struggling (maybe tw but idk)

hey @Eden1717 , i'm so sorry to hear that things have been so hard for you Smiley Sad  People often take for the granted how eating and food is such a fundamental part of daily life, and it seems like your eating issues are at the point where they are impacting your wellbeing really badly, and that right now you deserve a lot of care and support.


@Jay-RO has some really great suggestions on some pathways to other support, and I'd like to add it might be possible to get some other online support that specialises in ED? For example there's the Butterfly Foundation, which has a hotline you can call for support.


This page also has a list of other organisations that might be able to help, and of course you can always come here whenever you need any kind of support.



Re: i am struggling (maybe tw but idk)

Hey @Eden1717 .

I think you are very brave for reaching out and sharing all this. I can hear how much you are trying and want things to get better and easier, especially when it comes to the eating issues. I know from previous experience how much of a struggle food is and it truly can be quite hard. For a long time I have suffered through food intolerance's as well as being disgusted with meat and meals in general. For a long time I was iron and fibre deficient, underweight and constantly tired and frustrated with eating. It has been many years but I am finally happy in a place where I am eating what I want and when I want. I guess I started by just finding at least one or two things that I liked to eat and just eat those as a starting point. I know it is more complicated than that, as you already know, but I want you to know that you are in control here, and you make all the difference! You can do this and you are fighting through this every day! 


How are you feeling today? Have you been able to find any self-care strategies? Do something to make you feel good! You deserve it! 

Re: i am struggling (maybe tw but idk)

Hey @Eden1717 I’ve been having a similar problem for the past like 5 months and I know how hard it is to not have support for it in person.. I have never seen anyone for it but my number one reason for that is because I don’t want to be forced to eat.
I’m sorry you are wanting support for it but there is no one in your area.. that’s tough! I’d suggest speaking to a GP and contacting the butterfly foundation to maybe talk about some strategies you can use in getting your eating back on track. Also you could discuss the affects of eating disorders because I found that quite helpful actually knowing what I’m doing to my body.
Sorry if I’m not much help but I understand how you might be feeling

Re: i am struggling (maybe tw but idk)

@Jay-RO  university counselors are not an appropriate service for me and any time i have tried to access them they have told me i need to see someone else. 

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx  thank you

@DirtWitch i have tried calling the butterfly foundation they made me feel worse and didnt help at all. 

@mspaceK  it is not really the same as a food intolerance i do have one of those as well though but thanks for the reply and sorry you had to deal with that. 

@Bananatime04  for me this has been going one for at least 13 years i dont want to talk to people about it but i am running out of other options because i cant deal with it anymore. sorry you are having issues with it i hope you can find a way out of it sooner rather than later. 


i am still having a lot of trouble i tried the butterfly foundation but they just made me feel like they didnt understand and i felt really sad and frustrated after. like i always regret calling these services they always make me feel worse and it is better being able to pretend there is possibly someone to talk to if i get desperate than talking to them and knowing that there is no where left to turn. i just cant take this anymore i am trying so hard but i cant take it i cant keep fighting with it. 

Re: i am struggling (maybe tw but idk)

hey @Eden1717 , I'm really sorry that you had a bad experience with the Butterfly Foundation and that you have had difficult experiences with these services in general. I know that you need (and deserve!) more support but I hope that you are at least able to feel comfortable getting support from RO. @Jay-RO mentioned reaching out to your GP for support and I think that could be a good idea if you have a GP that you trust, as they will be able to refer you to professionals beyond your university counsellors. There are also other online resources available but it makes sense that you don't feel up for accessing them right now; unfortunately they can be a hit or miss, it can really depend on the specific person you're speaking to and how well the organisation trains it staff. I know that personally I have spoken to some really great counsellors at hotlines, but when I called at other times talked to some really unhelpful ones. Kids Helpline is a more general counselling resource that I've found can be quite good depending on the person.


Something else that worries me is that I've noticed you have talked about how you can't take things anymore; can you talk about what you mean by that more specifically? 



Re: i am struggling (maybe tw but idk)

Hey @Eden1717
Could you maybe work with this problem? I can't explain how, but I thought of that because I am working with some problems at school.
How are you doing today?