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i dont know

I've been reading through some of the posts on the website and my problems aren't quite as bad as others, but they still kind of do suck.


My best friend's boyfriend killed himself 2 weeks or so ago and I dont know what makes me feel worse- the fact that I couldn't cry or express any grief in any way or the fact that i regret only ever talking to him on some occasions.

But 2 days after his death, my bestfriend (lets call her k) tried to kill himself.

I dont know, i was just so overcome with grief i cried for the first time since his death. I cried and my sister consoled me and my cousin cheered me up but my parents just stood there and said crying isnt going to help, why are you crying? 


Ive veen trying to get in contact with k but I cant- she isnt allowed phones in hospital but thats not the worst part- she sometimes goes out of hospital (and usually i've bombarded her with messages) but she doesnt reply to a single one, and if she does it is like one word anwers. Today she came to school to get her things (her parents took her out of the school) and I saw her on her way out and called her and she just ran faster, then her sister told me she didnt want to see anyone and she was done with my school. 


I feel like im being selfish and needy but she is my bestfriend and i still need her. My sister tells me that im obviously not her friend anymore and i should just cut ties with her but she is my friend and i care about her so much. I dont know, because at school nowdays im feeling so lonley, my other close friend has started to hang out with someone else and my other friends keep teasing me (playfully) and i am really sick of it and on top of that i have exams next week and i keep getting low marks in science and my maths marks depend on wheter or not i do spec maths and i have my geography sac and i really feel the pressure and i just. 


I dont know I want friends again, i want to be as happy as i was before the incident happend. I want friends. I don't know. 


Re: i dont know

Hi @ssharmaxx 

Sometimes it's no good comparing your problems to other peoples! Your problems are personal and they're important to you, which means they're important to us :]

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend and her partner. It can be a really hard thing dealing with a death, even if they weren't so close to you. It sounds like your friend is going through a pretty rough time at the moment. It may seem like she doesn't want contact with you at the moment, but dealing with her partners passsing plus her own attempt is probably really taking a lot of effort. Maybe if you let her know that you're there for her when she needs you, and you're open to talking if she wants to, then you can give her support while also letting her know you're there if she needs.

There's certainly nothing wrong with crying either, and it's great that your sister was there to support you.

Is there any chance you could tell your other friends that you're not comfortable with the teasing at the moment? If they are true friends then they should have no problem giving you the space you need. Or if not, could you hang around with your other close friend?

If you feel like you need to talk to someone a bit more personally you should give KHL a call, or have a chat to them online.

Hope this helps a little!


Re: i dont know

Hey @ssharmaxx 


Welcome to Reach Out! It sounds like you've been through a heap of stuff lately. I'm so sorry that things have been so difficult. It can be terrible to lose a best friend, but when you feel like you don't get the chance to talk anything through with them, that can be devestating.

Are you getting support for this? Do you see anyone or have someone in your life you can talk to?