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idk what to do anymore

Today at school my class debated a...sensitive and very political topic and some of the arguments really got to me and I kept getting drowned out by the majority (side note: I get really dysphoric about my voice so when people talk over me it’s even worse. I know it shouldn’t but I can’t really control it). I don’t understand why people can’t just be nice? Like it’s not that hard to listen to other people opinions and be respectful? Or am I wrong, is it now okay to completely invalidate someone else and disregard everything they have to say?

Also my friend had a really shitty day too and so we both kinda just cried on the bus ride home because I didn’t really know what to say and now I’m mad at myself because I don’t know how to help.

idk what this post is but I’ve had a bad couple of weeks and I’m not really handling everything very well and I’m behind in school and everything makes me mad and I’m sick of being sad all the time

sorry I just really needed to vent i don’t even know what i need help with 

Re: idk what to do anymore

Hii @not-an-otter , I'm sorry that today was sucky for you and your friend Smiley Sad Currently do you have some close by to talk to or give you support? We're glad though that you're trying to seek help and support here on the forums even though you're not exactly sure what you want help with. Smiley Happy And it's perfectly okay to not know what's wrong and just vent! Feel free to do so here.

As for your class debate, arguments can sometimes become more extreme in debates because of group polarisation (basically when attitudes towards a topic become more extreme for both arguing sides). That may be why your class debate became really rowdy and frustrating like you described.

And even though you didn't really know what to say to your friend when they were upset, it's at least good that you were there for them on the bus ride home! Sometimes just being by someone's side is good enough when they're down. Smiley Happy I'm sure your friend doesn't hold any negative feelings toward you for not saying anything that time.

I hope you feel better soon and have things go well for you in the future! <3 Feel free to talk with us here on the forums about anything!

Re: idk what to do anymore

thanks @drpenguin I don’t currently have someone I can talk to, the school counsellor is a bit creepy and uncomfortable but I’m working on finding someone

I’m just annoyed because everything annoys me and I don’t seem to be capable of having a normal conversation and saying the right things and I’m sick of being sad and angry and frustrated
thanks for the support though ❤️

Re: idk what to do anymore

Hey @not-an-otter 

 

Just thought I'd chime in to say I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated at the moment. It's so hard carrying that around and not feeling like you have someone to talk to. 

 

You mentioned that the school counsellor is a bit creepy - I was just wondering if you'd be comfortable sharing a little bit more about what that means? 

 

Know that we are here for you Heart 

Re: idk what to do anymore

@Bre-RO the school counsellor just makes me and most of the other students uncomfortable. It’s not that he isn’t nice or anything but sometimes he randomly appears behind a student or teacher and speaks really softly. I just don’t feel comfortable around him and even less so talking to him about personal things. For me, a counsellor would be approachable and easy to communicate with and he isn’t either of those things.
But maybe I’m just being ridiculous and making up excuses for some reason...

Re: idk what to do anymore

nah @not-an-otter that's totally understandable. if you're gonna talk to someone about personal stuff it's important to feel at ease around them. i literally went through two psychologists before i found one who i was comfortable with. other than the school counsellor, is there anyone who could offer a similar role of support? hope you have a good evening, maybe take some time to chill out and do something to take your mind off things Smiley Happy

Re: idk what to do anymore

@roseisnotaplant I mean, I’ve got some good friends who I’m sure would listen but I always seem to play it off as humour and I avoid talking about my problems by making jokes about myself in a negative way it works at getting the attention away from the heavy stuff and where it’s easier to talk about lighter topics

Re: idk what to do anymore

Hey @not-an-otter 

 

It's not nice to hear that the school counsellor makes so many people feel uncomfortable. Just by reading what you have said I can understand why you don't feel comfortable getting support from him. It's important to trust yourself when you think something isn't right! 

 

I'm just wondering if you have let another teacher or your parents know about how this teacher is making yourself and others feel? 

 

Also, I totally get what you mean by playing emotions off as humour. That is something I think a lot of people do. Do you think it would help if you were to say something like. "Usually I'd joke about this kind of thing but today I'm really feeling like I need some help, can I talk to you about what's going on for me?" - I know that can be a hard thing to say but if it means getting some extra support from your friends, than it could be worth trying? 

 

 

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Re: idk what to do anymore

Last Friday I cut all my hair off which was a bid thing for me and sometimes I pass to strangers which is excellent but I’m super worried about school tomorrow. I know the sorts of comments I’m going to get but I don’t really know how to respond. Today a friend said I look like a boy but that’s kinda the point and people are saying that it looks really feminine which is not the point even though they are well meaning. I don’t know what to do and I think this week is going to be tough.
I’m also worried about my schoolwork because I’m really not up to date with anything at the moment and even though im not stressed about exams everybody else is and maybe I should be stressed??

Re: idk what to do anymore

Hey @not-an-otter Smiley Happy Firstly, well done mate, I think a new super different haircut can be a big step for anyone, especially if it's really central to their identity. I got a very short haircut at the start of year nine, and I did get misgendered from time to time, which as a cis female wasn't a huge deal but it still felt quite uncomfortable, and I can appreciate that for someone struggling with their gender identity, it could be super frustrating and dysphoric. You're right that it might be a tough week for you, because people tend to feel the need to comment on big physical changes, but something to think about is that as long as you're happy and comfortable within yourself, it really doesn't matter what other people think or say (I know that sounds really cliche lol but I promise it really is the case). How is school going for you today? Hope you're doing okay dude <3
(also you might have already fallen down the ftm rabbit hole on YouTube but if not i can link you to some really great videos about this sort of thing that you might find helpful or relatable Smiley Happy )