I just want to tell you how brave you are to tell us your true intermost feelings about yourself. I completely understand everything you said. I do the same things. Please know how much you helped me tonight just reading your post and not feeling quite as alone as i always do. Please dont give up on yourself. Im sure you are much more beautiful than you think. This is the first time ive wrote to anyone and been on here. So just know that your story touched me so much.