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loneliness and depression

first off yeah i know the title is really general but o well.

recently my friends have been hanging out with more people. 

not that i have a problem with them, they're actually really nice,

my problem is that ever since my boyfriend broke up with me, 

less people want to hang out with me,

my friends have started to organise things without me and when i ask about them they say that it's just me and [insert friends name here] going and then it's actually like half the group and I'm left at home by myself.

 

not long after all of this started happening my doctor made me retake the DASS21 and my depression level had gone up as a result of having no one to go to because who do you go to to talk about friend issues when they are the issue.

 

i want to talk  to them, i really do, but they just start drama all the time over issues that could be talked through.

 

i don't know what to do.

Re: loneliness and depression

Hey @cola it sounds like this situation really sucks, from past experience in a similar situation i can say it might be good to try and talk to them but i understand thats quite a hard thing to do. Have you talked to any family or just anyone about how this is making you feel?

Re: loneliness and depression

Hey @cola

I think everyone feels lonely and isolated at times, even when they are surrounded by people. I've been feeling that way recently even though I am surrounded by friends and people who care about me. I'm just at a different stage of my life compared to a few of them and while I know everyone moves at a different pace it's hard not to compare myself to them (even though my path is completely different to theirs!) and I feel isolated because of it. Thankfully I have other friends who understand where I am at and it's nice to have their support Smiley Happy 

Have you tried reaching out to your friends and explaining to them how you are feeling? Also calling them out on leaving you out, letting you know that you aware of them doing things and not including you? You could also try just inviting one of them out for some one on one time and that way you are doing the initiating instead of waiting for them to invite you.

Saying that if they are causing you drama maybe you should take a step back from them for a while and find some new friends, which I know is hard but there are lots of awesome ways you can meet new people Smiley Happy

Maybe there's a depression support group that meets in your area? Or check out what programs your local youth centre or library has and go and check them out? You would be surprised by how many friendships are started just be sharing one common interest. 

Another way is volunteering in your community, I've met so many people due to my volunteer work and it's a non threatening way to make friends as you are focused on a task instead of each other and it breaks the ice.

Hopefully these suggestions have helped, hang in there things will get better Smiley Happy 

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Whatever it takes I know I can make it through!