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loosing the will to go on

Hi everyone
well it seems ive lost my zest for life
i dont know what to do anymore
my suicidal thoughts like to try and drown me and its hard to ignore them
one way i think might help is to actually try to find a will to live again and i dont know how to get it back
im scared if i cant find it ill give in to these thoughts and atm its a dangerous place to be in mentally
i just need ...help

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: loosing the will to go on

@scared01 I can relate to this, I'm sorry. Not knowing how to keep going and finding a will to live is hard, but brave because you're still fighting. What is keeping you going atm.

Also if you feel at risk could you call lifeline, kids helpline or suicide call back service.
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Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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Re: loosing the will to go on

Hi @redhead 

 

Honestly i dont know whats stopping me.  Maybe thr fact of the aftermath on family but i dont really know anymore

I seem to have just lost all hope of anything

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: loosing the will to go on

Have you spoken to your psychologist about this.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: loosing the will to go on

I havent seen my psych for 2 weeks. Im suppose to see herbon monday but i dont know

I dont really trust her 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: loosing the will to go on

That's so tough @scared01 Smiley Sad It sounds like a horrible place to be. I'm really happy you're reaching out tonight. 

 

What gave you your zest for life in the past? What things did you enjoy/love/have a passion for?

 

Also, are you feeling safe at the moment?

 

- Hayley R/O

Re: loosing the will to go on

@TOM-RO its a very dark and scary place to be.

I am safe its just relentless thoughts and emotions. 

 

My only passion had been helping people and also horses

 

I got a job looking after horses which meant helping people but that hasnt helped 

And i also brought a new horse but it hasnt helped either. 

 

Im probably going to give the horse back after the 6 months trial is finished. Which means ill probably loose my job clients and friends

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: loosing the will to go on

Ok, so it sounds as though you're still engaging with your passions even though they're not helping at the moment? That's awesome and really important @scared01! It's so easy when we feel like this to just give in and give up on the stuff we love. You're showing a lot of strength and courage by pushing on even though you don't really want to. 

And remember that even though it feels so incredibly hard at the moment, it doesn't mean that it's always going to feel like this. Don't stop doing the things that you love, even if you're not loving them so much right now, you will again.

 

Sorry if this is a stupid question but why will giving the horse back mean losing your job, clients and friends?

 

- Hayley R/O

Re: loosing the will to go on

Im.still trying to be around the things i use to like but right now i would rather not be there at all. I try to avoid it atm but jasnt been working considering i leave home at 9 afternoon taking kids to school and generally dont get back home until after 6 sometimes around 8 

 

 

Its not a stupid question. It doesnt matter what state of mind im in there is no such thing as a stupid question. 

 

The horses actual owner that im trailing off is my bosses best friend. And as the job isnt on the books she can fire me at will. 

Which means she wont me on the property which means ill loose clients as some contact me separately to clean paddocks where as my job is part time care so rugging and feeding certain horses.  I doubt if i give thr horse back ill be able to hang around and keep.my jobs. Ill loose my friends because they were the ones who helped get the horse. And when i left that paddock originally they stopped talking to.me 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: loosing the will to go on

@TOM-RO above msg

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**