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Re: loosing the will to go on

hi @scared01 it sounds like you're not feeling so great tonight.
It's great that you managed to do some work on your module! That's awesome stuff! Don't forget to acknowledge that!
I've been there too, where I've questioned how I'm going to get by. It can be very hard. I wonder what we can do to help you get through this rough patch... DO you know of anything that might help you feel a bit better?

I wonder if you have seen your psych again? I know you said you don't trust them much, I wonder if trust is hard for you, or if maybe they aren't the right person for you?

 


Next weeks Getting Real: SCAVENGER HUNT RO STYLE!
Don't forget to practice self-care regularly!

Re: loosing the will to go on

@TOM-RO they were my normal and presibed doses of each medications.

 

 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: loosing the will to go on

i dont have any goals @honky the only goal right now is to keep myself safe and out of harms way becasue when i get into this state i will almost try to put myself in danger.

so top pirority is to stay safe and ignore the thoughts that are telling me to do what i dont want to do

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: loosing the will to go on

@Bee ive been trying for a few days now to keep my head up, and do the things i thought would help me but im doing them and i jsut couldnt give a care. i dont want to be there, im trying to get out there as fast as possible and i just dont want to do it.

theres 2 flags gone up and they are worrying me.

my artwork- i will always sit down to do art but i cant do it and i dont want to do it. ive thrown my art stuff from the neatly packed piles across the room a few times becasue it was frustrating and upsetting me. i hate cleaning it back up so im not touching the art stuff until i feel like i want to do it.

the second is that ive lost all interest in the horses and going there almost makes me angry for soem reason. i dont understand it. im suppose to like going there but i hate it and i jsut want to get away from there

 

i see my psych on monday which i want to cancel. i dont really want to go and she doesnt listen to me anyway. ill jsut do what i alsways do zone out and stop lsitening until shes finished rambling on about something i said i already know about

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: loosing the will to go on

last night yet again ive had only 2 hours sleep.

when im anxious or depressed or in certain states i have alot of nightmares

i had alot of monsters come and visit me last night.

 

i SH in the first time in 2 months and i know its not a permamant thing but it saved me from my thoughts last night. i needed a release and couldnt let  them keep destroying me as they were.

 

and today the sun is shining and i still feel like complete sh**.

I dont know anymore. how can i keep going on. i dont get it and i dont understand it

i thought i was past this point but obviously not.

im never going to get better. i cant see my way out of this one.

i just dont know anymore

 

theres only one thing left to do and that might be to go and speak to my aunty if i can get hld of her

 

 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: loosing the will to go on

@scared01 did you manage to get hold of your aunt.

And sending you hugs your way. I can relate to a lot of this.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: loosing the will to go on

@scared01 that sounds really tiring and hard. I'm sorry about the SH, do you need any medical attention?

 

Recovery is not a linear path and there are days when it can seem like we're going backwards but that's not the case in reality. The fact that you are doing things from your safety plan and seeing your psych means you are continuing on your journey.

 

I hope you get to speak to your aunty Heart

Re: loosing the will to go on

No its fine @Mona-RO thanks

 

I wont be able to see my aunty today

So will have to get some sort of something together to keep from drowning another day @Mona-RO@redhead

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: loosing the will to go on

@scared01

 

I'm sorry things have been so tough. It's awesome that you've been making a plan to help you get through today. Suicidal thoughts feel overwhelming but I know you're strong enough to fight them and keep your head above water. 

 

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Re: loosing the will to go on

hi @DruidChild its jsut so hard. even without the suicidal thoughts there i struggle to go on and i jsut want to give up. i dont even know how im still here or why for that matter.

 

 

 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**