moving on
so its the last day before o-week (so start of uni) and i finally cut ties with some people that i delusionally gave the benefit of the doubt for 6 years, worst mistake ever. sad that those people sucked my energy for nothing
i feel so disappointed because i trusted delayed gratification only for these obstacles to not lead to anything favourable, didnt do schoolies which was a shit decision as i panic and try to figure out who my close friends truly are
anyways i wish i could commence with a clean slate but not sure how realistic that is, money isnt exactly an issue quality friends has been though. obviously clubs and societies and sports can guide making quality friends but it isnt a guarantee, ive found myself being really bored at home even with a decent post-dinner routine and a job
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Thank you for sharing! I understand how frustrating it can be to reflect on time you spent on people who did not desrve it; you get angry at yourself for allowing it, for not doing something sooner, and for not taking care of you. But, no matter how long it took you to cut ties, you should be so proud of yourself for finding the strength to do it! It does not matter that it took 6 years, that just shows that you're a good person who is willing to give people a chance. You can also take this as a learning experience for future so that you know what you're looking for out of friendships and to not let yourself settle for less.
I'm so proud of you for doing what was best for you! It's definitely understandable for you to be experiencing regret when you think about the opportunities you missed, but I promise you that new opportunities will arise and you will be ready to grab them by the horns! Once you start Uni, you will realise how much of a big change to your life it brings. You will learn, grow, and change, and so will the people around you. Starting Uni is a great opportunity for you to meet more like-minded people and I hope that leaving high school and beginning university brings that change you needed.
I wish you all the very best moving forward!
Hey @yeah_it_tahtperson,
Thank you for sharing with the ReachOut community. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.
It can be challenging starting a new chapter in your life without the people that have been by your side for so long. I remember being in a similar position to yours - starting university while being surrounded by people I felt didn't have my best interest at heart. While initially cutting ties was challenging - as I find it quite tricky to make new friends - I'm so grateful I did this. Now I get to surround myself with people that genuinely like me for me.
I think it's awesome that you already have clubs and societies in mind as places for connecting with others. I went down this route a year into university and ended up connecting with some amazing people. This was in addition to starting conversations in my tutorials and signing up to volunteer initiatives on campus. Of course, it's not easy putting yourself out there, but trust me when I say that genuine connections take time to forge. Plus another lesson I've learned - when it comes to relationships, quality over quantity is key. 💛
While at the moment it sounds like it's challenging to fill up your time, I'm wondering if there are any activities you enjoy doing independently? For me I feel grounded after stuff like going on walks outside, doing arts and crafts, and taking the time out to watch some tv. Even with friends, I find it important to take time to relax and recharge as each day can being its own challenges.
Wishing you the very best moving forward in your university studies! I'm sure you're going to achieve great things and meet some awesome people along the way. 😊
Cutting ties with friends can be incredibly difficult; if they don't benefit you, it can be worth cutting ties. It can allow more into your life and bring great strength to yourself.
Sometimes I think when it comes to making friends in your life, a clean slate isn't always possible but a chance to grow and bring something new into your life. As you meet new people, you might discover new interests and socialise with a variety of different people but you will also learn what you do value in friendship. I know that it has changed significantly over the past 5 years and what I value in friendship now is different to what I valued in high school. A good way to look at it is everyone you meet is meant to add something to you even if it's poor, they might make you realise that you don't like being treated a certain way, recognise when you feel things drifting and it becomes interesting etc. This can make you grow as a person and then establish better relationships with others who you care about and bring value to your life.
Uni can be a very exciting time, and finding people who value you can take time.
Hi@yeah_it_tahtperson - I first want to congratulate you on doing something difficult but worthwhile, by cutting ties with people who caused more stress for you. That requires a lot of strength and commitment to surrounding yourself with people who don't bring you down.
As you said, a completely "clean slate" may not be possible but at uni you will have opportunities to meet new people, and whether you will find close friends or just people to talk to, it is always nice to socialise. I think the best suggestion is to be open to meeting new people, and by joining clubs, societies etc. you may both meet people and feel less bored.
I wish you all the best, it's an exciting time!
First of all, congratulations on starting uni!!! I hope you enjoyed O-Week!!!
Cutting ties with people you've known for so long must feel like a huge shift, and it's completely understandable to feel disappointed. It sucks when you invest time and trust in people only to realise they weren't worth it but recognise that now means you're making space for the right people moving forward.
Starting uni is a huge transition, and while a "clean slate@ might not happen overnight, it is a chance to build something new. You are already thinking in the right direction; clubs, societies, and sports might not guarantee close friends, but they definitely put you in spaces where connections can grow over time. And honestly, feeling bored at home makes sense when you are in this weird in-between stage, but doesn't mean it'll last forever.
It's okay to feel lost right now, but trust that better friendships are possible. You're stepping into a new chapter, and even if it takes time, you'll find people who value you for you!
