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no close friends, struggled feelings, stuck, lonely

Hi. I'm new to this site and my name's David, I'm 18. I'm from an eastern asian country but I found this site and I feel that I really need for help or really just someone to talk to. 

 

 

       I am sometimes socially awkward and I find that troubling. I am a very sensitive person so at most of the time I know what is going on and I can sense when something's wrong in the atmosphere easily sometime maybe too easily. I tend to think too much but in the end I'm usually right. Since I don't have many friends, no close friends at all, and basically having none real-life activities with someone regularly, I can act like a moron sometimes. For example I was hanging with someone (an accuantance) and I was trying to call a number so I walked slowlier than he. Then he called me a social moron for trailing behind him. Then I think I apologized and he said don't say sorry in a way that you shouldn't be saying this. I'm not sure how I feel. Throughout my teen life I have trouble finding anyone who is sensitive or truly understands me and now I am resigned. I no longer have the desire to initiate something, like a conversation, something to talk about. I just sit there and wish something will happen, and then I engage. I feel so sad and lonely. I guess I now am someone who's really introverted but very sensitive to understand what's going on in a conversation or the atmoshpere, slightly socially awkward and tries very hard to keep myself look like a well-rounded, non-awkward normal person, while I feel dead and under-appreciated/understood in the inside. I am not normal nor I want to be. Living in an eastern asian country where I don't share similar ideas with the people is lonely and painful, which is basically my significant daily feeling now. Throughout my childhood I have always felt this way. I am nothing like them, nor do I want to be. I've been thinking about moving out but I am a mess right now and I don't know where to begin. If someone can give me any advice or just a talk even a company I will appreciate it. Thanks for reading.

 

Re: no close friends, struggled feelings, stuck, lonely

Hiya @quishiclocus, I'm glad you found us and had the courage to share you story and ask for help. Feeling lonely, introverted and a bit socially awkward is something that a lot of us here on ReachOut understand from personal experience. Even though you may feel like it sometimes, you're definitely not alone. There are lots of us introverts, it's just we don't get to meet each other very often because, well, we're introverts Smiley Happy

 

Ii think it's important to be true to yourself and not change your personality to suit others. However there are lots of things you can do to improve your social skills and how you communicate with others so you can meet new people who appreciate you for who you are. Do you have any hobbies throgugh which you could meet like-minded people? Maybe a book club, or a sport? Volunteering can be a great way to connect with others.

 

As you may be aware, this is the Australian ReachOut so the support links on our forum probably won't work in your country. If you would like some extra support, you could try talking to a trusted adult, a school counsellor or your doctor. In the meantime, you are welcome to chat with us on the Hanging Out board, or even play some games with us!

Re: no close friends, struggled feelings, stuck, lonely

Hey, 

 

I just want to say you're not alone and things do get better.  I am exactly the same and have struggled feeling like I'm on the outside all the time. Being sensitive or introverted is not a bad thing, you're tuned into your surroundings a little more than most and probably have a good intuition. However, we need our down time every now and then and it is a struggle sometimes socially but there are many introverts in the world who share the same experiences. 

 

I've found activities like writing, even writing on here a good way to calm down from the outside world and let my feelings out. 

 

It's hard to engage in conversation and make friends when you already feel the way you do but you don' have to be afraid to be yourself and being sad doesn't make you worth less than any other person. 

 

You said you felt like a mess and don't know where to begin, I think you've already started by expressing yourself in here, and you can find many people to talk to on here.  

 

Re: no close friends, struggled feelings, stuck, lonely

hello @quishiclocus

 

I watched a video once about introverts and the idea is that introverts arent necessary ppl that cannot communicate or socialise well with people. If we take a look at the most successful ppl on earth most of them are introverts like steve jobs/bill gates etc.

 

The video further explains that introverts "prefers" to be on our our during our down time but it doesnt mean that we dont have the ability to socialise with others. This idea that we are introverts and so we cant socialise well needs to be broken in your head.

 

A few years ago I was kinda forced to socialise a lot and through practice and practice (like what to talk to ppl about, how to listen, what stories can I tell etc). I became better and better at it to the extend that no one believes that I am an introvert. 

 

My advice to you is that you cant change overnight but get excited that its fun to practice with your local grocer, hairdresser, checkout lady, workmates etc. It doesnt have to develop into a real friendship but start practicing being "friendly"

 

I know what it is like to be put in a different culture. But I dont think its matters too much. To be honest its actually even easier for me/us cus there is an immediate topic to talk about. Ask them about their culture, why is it that.... Tell them how your culture differs to theirs. Be positive though. 

 

Good luck.