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not coping

this is my first time here hope someone can help not coping very well to make short of it loss both of my legs below knee and now feel like such a burden on my boy and not to sure how or what to do to get over this to tell you the truth not coping without my legs its horrible words cant explain the pain of not having my legs missing out on so much just needed to vent my feelings before i go crazy with guilt for being a burden on my boy hate feeling this bad and dont undestand why me am not a bad person feels like iam been punished for somethink i did wrong what am not sure but if anyone can help please do

Re: not coping

Hey welcome to the forums.

im also new here and i know the people on here will do the best they can to support you.

I cant begin to imagine what you are going through right now but one thing i will point out you have done nothing wrong to deserve this... the world doesnt work like that.. i know when things are hard we think some how we are being punished. if that were true all the evil people in this world would be dropping like flies.


You have a son and no matter what you do in this life you will never be a burden on him.. you have given him the gift of life.

And from what i can tell your not putting pressure on him cause you are aware of his needs.


I hope this made sense to you and that even if it makes u feel 0.5%  better thats a start


Re: not coping

Hi Buterfly,


I can't even imagine how I'd feel if I lost one of my legs let alone both. I'm sure what you're feeling and thinking is very common among amputees, I'd imagine that your doctor would be aware of how difficult it can be and I recommend you speak to him/her as soon as possible, they will be able to help you and send you to places/people that will help you. 


You're expressing concern about your impact on your boy, is this a son or boyfriend? 

Re: not coping

Hi buterfly; welcome to Thank you for having the courage to share with us here.


I couldn't agree more with what ryan08 has said: you're not being punished for anything. You don't deserve what's happened to you but unfortunately it's happened anyway.

Your son loves you and if you show him you care, he's sure to care right back.


If you feel you need to have a one-on-one chat with someone, give Lifeline a call: 13 11 14. It can help a lot to share how you're feeling with someone who genuinely wants to listen. They can also offer advice to help you feeling more like yourself again.


By posting here you've achieved a lot; it takes bravery and courage to share your story. It says a lot about what sort of person you are. And you can achieve even more by just picking up the phone. 


Don't forget to come back and let us know how you're going.

Re: not coping

Hey Butterfly,
Welcome to the forums,
I cannot begin to imagine how you would possibly feel because of this. It's terrible. But it's great that you've come online and are looking for help!
I wanted to say that I wouldn't think your boyfriend sees you as a burden, if he is still with you then he loves you for you, regless of whether you have legs or not!
I know this wouldn't be an easy thing to cope with, so I wanted to list some services you might be able to contact;
Kids Help Line - 1800 55 1800 -
Eheadspace -
From personal experience both these services are great, it can be hard to get into eheadspace at times as they are always so busy, but if you make an appointment for their web based counselling it's simple Smiley Happy Kids Help Line is amazing. I have connected via web chat so many times not really knowing what's up and they have been amazing. The easiest way to get through is via phone, but if you're like me, that might be a bit daunting, so web chat could be the best way. They offer email counselling too, but replys generally take about 2 weeks...

I'm not sure what else I can say, (I'm speechless) But I wish you all the best and that I hope you can overcome this barrier and feelings Smiley Happy x

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: not coping


I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to have lost both your legs, when suddenly you have to relearn how to do a lot of things and make all these adjustments. Many people who have had an amputation go through a grieving process and it's important to acknowledge that it is a loss that can be very difficult.

You're not being punished, sometimes people go through things that they do not deserve at all.

Maybe seeing a psychologist or someone may help with the feelings that come up because of this? And someone like an occupational therapist can help with practical matters like how you manage in your day to day life- provide advice on things like equipment and techniques.

Take care.

Re: not coping

My uncle lost both his legs, but he couldn't have prosthetics, so that made things really hard. They get so itchy, don't they? Smiley Sad The Australian Amputee Association will give you some support and certainly someone to talk to! It's always harder when the disability is aquired, rather than from birth. I'd talk to your Drs and the OTs at the hospital. The social worker's a good person to talk to as well as she can help you communicate with different people about what you need. Smiley Happy


Not sure what else to say...


Take care