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not coping

hi everyone


sorry ive not been around. i havent been coping well. still not really but im still living so i guess that is a bonus 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: not coping

Hi @scared01 thank you for reaching out to update us tonight Heart


How are you feeling at the moment? Are you safe?


It's totally fine that you haven't been around, it is always important to take time for yourself when you are struggling. Self-care is so important, have you done any lately? 


Hear from you soon xx

Re: not coping

thanks @lennycat2017

yeah im safe just very very low and lots of mixed emotions happening.
ive been doing self care, im just headed to bed now but wanted to quickly respond
thanks for checking in
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: not coping

@scared01 thank you for replying before you head to bed Heart


I hope you get a good night sleep, please let us know if we can do anything to help. 


Always here for you xx 

Re: not coping

Hi @scared01,


One thing I really admire about you, is that you know when you need a break and when you need to reach out for support Heart


How are you going today?


We are here if you want to talk through any of those mixed feelings you mentioned and need a listening ear Heart


Check out our community activities calendar here

Re: not coping

thank you @lennycat2017 @Jess1-RO  


i havent been sleeping well or worse than usual anyway. Things at my end just arent that good. the pressures, expectations and life in general i guess are becoming really hard to handle. I have supports but i dont feel up to seeing them much and when i do i know they are trying to help but im not finding it helpful. ive stopped caring about lots of things that are important and that i should actually be caring about, maybe its a way my brain is saying 'thats enough for now'. i can barely answer to what these people want. not much more than a 'yeah' 'no' 'ok' or 'uh huh' they are all one worded responses. 

i have lots of things to be worrying about and trying to cope with and while i have learnt quite alot in these areas and how to manage my depression has really taken over. usually its the anxious side of me thats more prominent, but not lately. 

theres a really big part of me that is so empty, and dark and numb that its hard to feel anything else.


**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: not coping

oh @scared01 you are so strong Heart 


When I used to find myself in these situations where I felt like I was drowning and nothing was going to to save me, I would usually give up on everything too but over time I realised that approach only perpetuated how crappy I was feeling. 


It is totally okay to feel like you need a break from it, are there things in your life you can step back from? For me I was struggling with work, uni and my family life. I deferred from uni and set some boundaries with my family to give me space and focused on trying to remain present at work. This helped me because it gave me a sense of control of something in my life even when everything felt like it was falling apart. It also acted like a 'rope' in a way that always kept me connected to the real world so I couldn't fall too far in my head and it was way more manageable than trying to spread myself thin. Could this be something you could try to do while you need a break? 


It is also important to acknowledge with your support how you are feeling, they won't know that they are not helping you unless you tell them and while it's a hard conversation to have sometimes, I'm sure they would appreciate it and hopefully it would enable them to be able to support you in a way that is actually beneficial. 


With regards to your sleeping, perhaps you could try meditating before bed? Meditating even for 5 minutes tends to calm me down and take a weight off so that could help you fall into a better sleep? 


I'm not sure if any of this will be helpful to you but I hope that by sharing my experience this will help you to comfort in the fact that you are not alone Heart 


Re: not coping

thank you @lennycat2017
oh how i wish i could step back from something for a while, unfortanatly my circumstances especially at the moment arent very 'giving' so it makes it very hard to take a step back from anything otherwise that would have been an awesome suggestion.
i did try to talk to someone on a helpline tonight about how ive been since i dont see my psych or any of my other supports for another week-2 weeks but they actually made it worse so im a little more worse for wear tonight.

i have chronic insomnia and at this point my gp doesnt even know what to do since we have tried sleep routines, medications for sleep and calming to help ease all the nerves etc but none has helped some have even made it worse so ive learnt to just rest and try to sleep when im tired.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: not coping

Firstly @scared01 I am so proud of you for reaching out to helpline and also your doctor. Both of those are really huge steps to take when you are feeling so down but you have been able to put yourself first and still look after yourself Heart


It sucks to hear though that your helpline conversation did not benefit you. If you aren't seeing your psych for another 2-weeks could it be beneficial to journal how you are feeling? This is one way to express how you are feeling without having to talk with someone and you could avoid having conversations that make you feel worse. It also could be really helpful for when you do see your psych so you can reflect on how you have felt while you haven't seen them. 


Ahhh, I understand! Is there any opportunity to speak with someone at your commitments for support? Perhaps if they know how you are feeling they could lighten your work load or delegate you other tasks? 


I'm sorry to hear the doctor hasn't been able to help your insomnia either. That must be so tough to feel worn out and not properly recuperate. But you are so strong for still persisting regardless of this Smiley Happy  Please try to practice some self-care, it can be so important at times like this. I always find a long shower or bath can make me feel a bit better, what self-care do you enjoy? 




Re: not coping

Thank you @lennycat2017

thank you, yes im already journalling so I can write down a few notes to take with me when I see her next however as we are working on trauma foccussed therapy we generally prioritise that first. I only have 45 minutes and those 10 sessions so im trying my best to just focus on the main thing.

I cant quite lighten the load at the moment because my commitments are actually family things even being a carer, its for someone in my family. Its a really busy year for us all really with quite a a lot of events so I guess I will kinda have to suck it up abit and cope as best I can.

Its ok, im kinda use to not sleeping much. After a good nights sleep say 6 hrs or even 4 hrs uninterupted I feel even more tired and lethargic then when I have only slept a few hrs. strange hey!
How showers are great, I tend to watch movies, tv shows, crochet or sometimes drawing/painting as forms of self care.

im very much struggling to cope today though despite self care and breathing and other coping strategies.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**