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Re: not coping

they always do @Jess1-RO ive kept going and going and now im wondering why. what is the point in trying. its like dangling a carrot in front of a horse and never letting them have it even when they do what you ask.

I cant get motivated to study. i dont have to long left and then itll be classes as a fail. i worked hard to get the car i wanted and its been broken since the first month i brought it becasue i was lied to. 6 months later and i still cant fix it and now has to be sold. the bills are constantly pileing up, even when i pay them it doesnt seem to do much. my current car needs repairs and i cant afford to do it right now either.

i am getting what i can only describe as 'mothers guilt' even though im not even a mum but ive been brought up fast and its now part of me but its not helping my own anxieties now.

im so worried about monday which is when i get the results for my heart test, it doesnt bother me so much as having one but the waiting game makes me more nervous.

I have these health professionals and i dont know what to do about utilising them as in i either havent done what they have asked/forgotten, dont see the point, not finding it helpful etc.

i dont know what im doing Smiley Sad everything feels very messy and i dont know how to unmess it
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: not coping

There is so much happening for you at the moment @scared01 Heart- I can understand why you are feeling this way today. When there is so much happening at the one time, it can feel like a real snowballing effect. 


You mentioned that you have been seeking mental health support, but not feeling like these supports are utilised to give you what you need right now- can you tell me a bit about that? What supports do you have in place at the moment? If you could design your own support system, what do you think would be most helpful for you? (it may also be non-mental health supports too!)


Feeling like things are messy and not knowing where to start is something we hear a lot on the forums- you are definitely not alone Heart I know we have spoken about your caring commitments at home before, and this has been a big part of your day most days. Has there been any times of the day where you have been able to take time out for you? 


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Re: not coping

thanks @Jess1-RO Heart

i have my psychologist- who i see every fortnight
my gp- who i see whenever i need
and im waiting to hear back from the new psychiatrist about an appointment. but i also have physio, and nurse, and exercise physiologist as well. the problem is its not actually those supports. each of those support people/s are doing their job and trying to help me but it seems the more help i get the less it is actually helpful. It isnt them, it is me.
im not sure if that makes sense..

i take time out for myself for my self care activities but mostly they are still at home. i dont really have anywhere else to go that doesnt require me working sadly and very little interest in doing much in my area. its rather boring.,
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: not coping

Hey @scared01 it feels like we haven't talked for a while! I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling so hopeless and low, it is definitely demotivating when you can't access the right help. I'm sending you lots of hugs and good vibes Heart


I wondered if you had any ideas of what you would ideally like from a professional? Are you feeling like you feel you need just someone to listen, or are you more needing concrete practical suggestions? 

Re: not coping

hey @DruidChild
its not been a good few days is all. i spoke to the psych today and still not very far along. the sessions just seem like a waste but she thinks its because im dissociating which is part of why im so low (like a subconscious coping strategy) that my rational thoughts arent really getting through
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: not coping

Hey @scared01

it sounds that the end of your week hasn't been the best possible, but I am glad that you got a chance to speak to your psych! Did any of the things she mentioned in your session resonate with you a bit more today, after you have had a chance to sleep on it?

Also, good job supporting other people across the forums this morning Smiley Happy sometimes it can help us feel better if we help others 

Re: not coping

hi @Andrea-RO 


yes and no, i didnt really like that session. in a way it seemed pointless. even though we discussed the things that were bothering me, i dont like talking about the things that we did. it makes me uncomfortable ( i know therapy isnt suppose to be comfortable) and paranoid about talking about other people. then again i dont like talking much about myself either. 


im trying my best to do my homework and fix it up becasue i failed the assignment even with a tutor. i feel so bloody dumb. at least they have some details about what to improve on so ive got a direction to go on. ive gotten through a few questions but still a long way to go. plus another assignment that i havent even started yet. feeling abit overwhelmed with it all. 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: not coping

it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate right now @scared01, i don't think anyone could blame you for feeling overwhelmed! Heart
therapy sessions that focus on things that make you really uncomfortable can be so hard to sit through,  it's not fun and it's really exhausting Smiley Sad ditto for walking out of a session feeling like it's a waste of time, particularly when it takes courage to get there in the first place sometimes Heart is this something you feel you'd be able to talk to your psych about? the way your sessions have been focused? i know that that's probably a hard thing to do in and of itself though... 

i'm sorry to hear things have been rough for you academically, i can see that you put so much effort in to all the different responsibilities in your life, and i really really admire it. Heart i hope the pointers your tutor gave you help you in the right direction Heart

thinking of you xx

We're having a SLOW-MO Getting Real chat to do with Generational Differences, starting on Monday the 11th of November! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: not coping

Hey @scared01, I’m sorry the session didn’t feel very helpful, it’s frustrating when help doesn’t feel like it’s helping Smiley Sad I don’t know if this helps at all, but personally right now I’m trying to take each hour/day at a time, trying not to think too much about the next one or all of the things I have to do. I find that a less overwhelming way to think about things, maybe it could work for you too?

 What’s your plans for today? Hugs, I’m thinking of you Heart

Re: not coping

Hey @ecla34
there is so much on my plate and I guess its both good and bad but I have another job which makes one full tim job and 2 other jobs to do each week/every few days. I need the extra money though so I guess it doesnt hurt plus its good experince too.

Ive already spoken to my psych about how I was feeling etc, this was a new focus as we had been doing exposure therapy. We more spoke about the surface stuff that session.

Ive almost finished fixed up the mistakes on the assignment. I emailed in because I cant find any information on what they are asking and one correction makes no sense as it was copied and pasted from the question above so I need to wait for that to come back and then im finished and can resubmit it.

I havent started the final assignment though but I proabably will do that tomorrow depending on how my appointments go. Ive got 2 in the morning plus having the babysit as well for a little while while mum and my sister go do something.

Hey @DruidChild
yeah im much the same as you taking it hrly or even by minutes if I need to. Its abit hard to do sometimes esp with so much to do though. Im a 'do it' sort of person who likes to sort things out or work on the problems I face even though I know thats not always possible.

ive been working today from 1030 till 430 and looks like itll be a regular thing so that makes 3 jobs now. Hopefully itll help with savings or at least bills so I can start to save for my op later in the year.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**