nothing seems to be good enough

[scared01]

i feel like im failing everyone and doing everything wrong. nothing seems to be good enough. my life is always on hold.
not that it matters anymore. i dont even know if anyone will read this but ill post it anyway

[mrmusic]

Hello @scared01, just letting you know that I've moved your post into it's own thread so that more people will see this post and offer you the support you deserve.

These are very heavy feelings to be sitting with. Has something in particular happened to make you feel this way?

[scared01]

thanks @mrmusic

yes it has been very heavy to sit with the other day i was going to attempt to end it all but i havent because im still here. arguments with family, unhelpful professionals, financial difficulties, pain of the physical sort as well mostly, and the amount of pressures i have are putting my life on hold more and more. i am constantly giving up things for others so they can get better or live a better and/or normal life.

[mrmusic]

Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate @scared01. When we give so much of our time towards helping others, it can be so draining. What have you been doing for self care over the last little while?

I also noticed that you mentioned that you were going to end it all the other day. Just wanted to check if you are still having these thoughts and urges?

[scared01]

im safe @mrmusic thanks

self care has been almost non-existent. havent really even felt like doing that either. havent felt worthy of it either.

[Jane_Rose]

Hi @scared01, I am very sorry to hear you are feeling unhappy and overwhelmed with the things you have going on in your life at the moment  First of all I want to say how proud I am of you for posting your thoughts here despite your doubts anyone would read and listen.. but I am here, and I am listening 
I see that @mrmusic asked whether you have been practicing self care and you have said you do not as you feel you are not worthy, of course you are worthy of self care!! Looking after ourselves is one of the most important things we can do as humans. Perhaps you just haven't found the right sort of self care that works best for you yet? Even things like listening to your favourite song or watching your favourite tv show count as self care!  Maybe you could have a think about something you love doing (e.g., going for a walk or reading a book) and try and implement it into your day to day life as a part of building your self care? 
Remember always that you do matter and you are worth it  

[Taylor-RO]

Great to hear you are safe @scared01, we are all glad that you have shared this with us. That really sucks that you haven't felt worthy and I imagine that must make you feel so low. You spend so much time helping others, there is no doubt as to whether you deserve it Is it possible to just go through the motions of self-care to try to improve how you have been feeling? Sometimes it is what we need, even if we don't feel like it. Keep us updated

[scared01]

there seems to be posts missing? @Taylor-RO were they removed?

i have been riding through the motions, and doing what others tell me to do but life just isnt getting better. every time i open my mouth, do something, think about doing something im in trouble or i make things worse. its alot of pressure all the time. sometimes i really just want to dissappear and get away from everything and everyone for a while. everyone always wants me for something or to support them but i dont get that reciprocated back and it makes it hard to continue to want to help others anymore.

[Taylor-RO]

Hey @scared01, your posts were moved to a new thread if you scroll down to the first response on this thread

That is a shame that others are causing you to lose that supportive side of yourself. It isn't easy and I think feeling that way is completely valid. It is a challenging position to be in and we can't give ourselves to others without having our own needs fulfilled. Is there any way you can limit the amount that you support others in any way? Is there a way to get the support you need from those around you?

[scared01]

no there were posts from another member here @Taylor-RO they mustve had them removed. if got it in my notifications but when i click on it the post is no longer there.

no one supports me, the more i ask the more im judged and yelled at with the 'talking to' get over it blah blah or they just get frustrated at me. and i dont think i can reduce my load any other way than what ive already done so far.