This sounds like a pretty heavy space to be in @scared01. I know it can be really hard when we're in it but @Anonymous has made some solid points. You are a supportive, compassionate and highly valued member of our community and I hope that maybe tomorrow after a rest you'll be able to take some of that on board.
Things will get better @scared01 
even my sister doesnt want to be around me anymore. im not the sort of person people like even when i try my very best to be a 'someone'
im tired of it
What are your plans for today? Here for you ❤️
P.S. While you may feel like a nothing, I think that you are a something
i dont think anyone would miss me if i left, they would just replace me.
How are you looking after yourself today?
im watching tv atm but i have to go pick up the kids and go to the shop. other than that theres not alot to do
Hey @scared01
The situation with your sister sounds really tough. I just wanted to say that I completely relate. I used to be best friends with my little sister and now our relationship has deteriorated almost beyond repair. She would never visit me, never want to talk to me and she even said we should just walk out of each other's lives forever. And it wasn't a little spat, it's been an issue that has been going on for just over 2 years now and I am still struggling with it.
I don't want to give up on my relationship with her, it's not easy because we don't live together so I try to visit her often but for the time being not put any pressure on her to go out with me. Something that sorta worked for me was bringing up old times. Like I would say "remember when we did (insert activity) as kids how silly we were?" or mention an inside joke that only her and I used to share. And that usually results in her and I having a laugh for a few moments together and I guess I think it might slowly rekindle the bond. Or alternatively I still sometimes ask her for advice on something I'm dealing with. Just get the ball rolling with us again.
I know how it feels to have a family member push me away and it can cascade into feeling like I don't belong but it's helpful to remember that there are people who love you. I know that this community for instance really values you and it wouldn't be the same without you. I genuinely hope that things become better for you and remember we are here for you just like you have been here for others so many times
the problem is though is shes alot younger than me. its just hard becasue both of my sisters have been like my kids in a way becasue i do alot of the mothering role and for even them to not want to be near me is really hard.
we had an ok night though with dinner desert and a movie that we all liked as well as going shopping so was ok.
Hey there @scared01,
I'm sorry to hear how things are going with your sister, are they both distant or just one? It sounds like your night last night was nice, dinner and desert plus a movie sounds nice 🙂
I hear you around support, it can be difficult to know if it's worth it, especially when there's only so many sessions in a year. Do you know if you'll be seeing your psych in early or late Feb? Do you think you could access other supports, such as online counseling, in between those sessions, what do you think?
It's okay to take things one day at a time. Sometimes we do need breaks from support others on the forums, and that's not a bad thing either. Your posts are always so insightful and compassionate, it's okay to spend some time in the lighter sections of the forums as @Esperanza67 suggested if that's what you feel like doing. What do you think?
yeah the niht was nice, its a rare occassion that happens.
ill be seeing the psych early in feb i need to find the car but i think its the first friday in feb so the 1st or 2nd. something like that. i do sometimes do online counselling when i think i need it with helplines but not usually. im often to complicated for them so so jsut go in circles unless i have a focal point for why im actually conctacting them.
yeah ive been spending tme in lighter sections, sometimes i find it hard to evne be in that section as it feels 'forced' on my behalf.- not sure if that makes sense or not.
How are you going today? Really great to hear you are seeking support early Feb
We have seen you offer some amazing peer support today
Im pretty tired but otherwise im ok for the moment. Just having an easy going day for now trying to keep on top of things as well as keeping the pain levels down in my hand and foot.
yesterday wasnt a good day for me so its left me feeling quite out of sorts today but seems its another rest day here.
my foot is going abit better thankfully, the boot sometimes gets to much so i try to have rests from it as well. im lucky enough to be able to do that as its not broken. i see the physio next wednesday to check in to see how things are going
What plans do you have for today/the weekend?
@Esperanza67 not to sure ont he rest of the weekend, kinda having trouble thinking past the next few minutes really.
have really sunk since this morning
what about you?
yeah im just trying to get my house cleaned up or well still so im clearing out older clothing, any furniture i dont need anymore and some appliances. jsut things like that plus i made a few small school packs up for families who are struggling to buy their kids items so a few of those as well.
my hands been ok and my foots getting better too, the rest of mes feeling pretty well cooked though!
