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please help me

i have been in a relations ship with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years we have lived together over half the time .the first bruse he left i didnt think he ment to we  had gotten in to an arugement he stomed out the house so i fallowed when i mad it to him he grabed me my the arm truned me around and told me to go inside .it reallyhurt when he grabed my arm so i went in side latter that day i noticed the bruse when he come home from work i told him and showed it to him he seemed sad and sorry,he even cried . i forgave him he told me that i shouldnt fallow him when he is mad.3-4 months later we got into another arguement this time i walked outside he fallowed and went to sitin the car when i went to talk to him about our arguement he told me not to come near the well i did i dont like when he is mad and wanted to make it better when i made it by the car door he was pissed he grabed me  one hand squing myside the other on the back of my neck he frouced me to sit down and in the prosees i hit my head on part of the car hard enough to have a headace for 3 days . when i told him he had hurt me he got mad and said it was my falut i should have listend and left him alone. am i in the wrong forbothing him is it my fault like he says .....or is he in the wrong 

Re: please help me

Hey @kittywalters it's never okay to be physically harmed by another person. Never ever.


I also want to let you know that you have stumbled on an Australian site, so some of the information and support we can give might not be heaps useful as we're a little different to the U.S in a lot of ways.


There's a great place you can go to read a bit more and call someone who can help you decide what to do about what's happening you can find them here. They're great as they can help you decide what to do to feel safe and what to do about the relationship you're in and the physical stuff.



Re: please help me

Hey @kittywalters how are you feeling today? We want to make sure you are safe

Would calling the hotline @Ben-RO linked you to be something you think could help you?

Re: please help me

Hello @kittywalters,


I can tell you 100% that it is not your fault. It is normal to want to comfort someone you care about and he is wrong for physically hurting you, and even more wrong for blaming it on you. You should talk to him seriously about his inability to control himself because there are signs that it could get progressively worse.


Perhaps you should talk to him about taking counselling in regards to his behaviour to help with self-control. You could also suggest trying some techniques to calm down such as taking deep breaths or just to walk away to avoid someone getting hurt.


Please tell me how things go.


Best of luck,


Winter Rain


Re: please help me

@kittywalters that's some pretty scary stuff to go through. I can imagine how confusing it must be because you're in a relationship too.
Did you manage to follow up on any of the support Ben-RO linked in?