cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Re: "Going Out" and clothes and gender expression and stuff

I'm going to at least try to enjoy it @N1ghtW1ng . I've unfortunately already started remembering times when going out was crap. If one person asks why I didn't wear a dress I'll probably lose it. I'm trying to think of what a positive evening would be like with these people but am drawing a giant blank.
____________________#iftoastershadfeelings____________________

Re: "Going Out" and clothes and gender expression and stuff

Do you think coming up with some strategies and answers to things beforehand will help you out @Bay52VU? That way, if someone says something or someone does something, you've already got some things planned.
_________________________________________________

Guess what day it was!!! It was Wear It Purple Day!! Come on over and learn all about what it is and what you can still do!

Re: "Going Out" and clothes and gender expression and stuff

Honestly I just don't want to deal with it. I'm going to just go in with the assumption that no one will say anything.

My pockets have too much junk in them. And I am too fat for this stupid shirt. Wtf was I thinking? If anyone is going to "politely not comment to my face" about something then that's what it will be.
____________________#iftoastershadfeelings____________________

Re: "Going Out" and clothes and gender expression and stuff

I'm glad you're making that effort to try and enjoy it @Bay52VU! I get how you feel about the hassles of dressing for the part and especially people talking across the table and you can't hear what they're saying.

 

If you're worried about how people might say something about how you look, maybe just steer the conversation away by bringing attention to someone else by or just bring up something completely random (like toasters). Have you got topics you feel like you love to talk about comfortably?

Re: "Going Out" and clothes and gender expression and stuff

Hey @Bay52VU how did the night out go? RO's here if you want to talk it out Smiley Happy

 

Re: "Going Out" and clothes and gender expression and stuff

Just got back. It wasn't too bad although I did have problems keeping up with conversations and whatnot. I don't have any topics that I can really talk about. I'd talk about pokemon or skyrim or a project at work, but they don't play video games and no one really wants to talk shop while they're out Smiley Tongue

 

It really improved once we started trying to find a club or dance bar rather than just sitting around talking. And was pretty good at one point doing the nutbush haha Smiley Happy No one commented on how I looked which was good. Not really my sort of music in the ones we stayed longest in, but it was still fun.

 

I always have a problem after a night out - regardless of how it went - where I start getting anxious and wanting to do distructive things. Need to chill myself out enough to go to sleep if I want to be up by 5:30. 

____________________#iftoastershadfeelings____________________

Re: "Going Out" and clothes and gender expression and stuff

How are you feeling now? Did you get to sleep okay?

lol i thought i was the only person crazy enough to get up for work at 5.30 everyday!

Re: "Going Out" and clothes and gender expression and stuff

Yeah thanks I got to sleep after listening to some songs and watching a vlog. I was doing alright this morning for about 30mins at work but not so good now.

Haha I like early mornings @Alicat Smiley Happy
____________________#iftoastershadfeelings____________________

Re: "Going Out" and clothes and gender expression and stuff

Are you feeling anxious again now? Can you duck off to the bathroom for some quiet time?
i was so wound up and almost had a anxiety attack yesterday, but have recently started (trying) to do meditation and focus on my breathing to calm my thoughts. yesterday was the first time it's actually 100% worked! i put my hand on my belly to tune into the breathing even more. afterwards was probably the first time in my life my mind was completely clear and not scattered. don't know if it'll work for you but it's worth a shot.
hope you feel better Smiley Happy

Re: "Going Out" and clothes and gender expression and stuff

Yep, but the main type of anxiety I get is like the "snap a pen, flip a table and destroy something" reaction, unless it's highly situational which this isn't. I tried the breathing in the bathroom thing but it didn't really help. Singing tends to work better but I can't stay in the bathroom hoping that no one comes in and hears me Smiley Tongue Trying to listen to music now.

That's awesome that the meditation worked for you yesterday though Smiley Very Happy
____________________#iftoastershadfeelings____________________