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Re: relationship stress

@Bree-ROYes it will definitely ease all of the things that I am keep wondering. I Absolutely agree land love your statement, clarity is a wonderful even if the process isn't fun! Smiley Happy its hard to live with doubts everyday..

 

I am feeling okay.. trying to stay top of my exams while and life in general. In fact I am really happy that I will get to hang out with her.. after all I am worried is that I will lose her one day to another guy.. that would be so heartbreaking. have you heard that when you are so afraid of something happening that it actually happens? or in short you attract what you fear? in the same way you attract what you feel? Just like that I have been so afraid that of losing her and now all of a sudden she says she is seeing someone??  I've never given up things that I genuinely felt I really wanted and even when they seemed impossible I somehow managed to find a way achieve them.. just like that this person is something I genuinely feel like I wouldn't want to let go no matter what.. and I've never had such a feeling about another person. but at the end of the day I know its her life..

Re: relationship stress

Yes @meesha I am a big fan of the law of attraction! The legit stuff before the secret haha. It's quite interesting isn't it?

 

It sounds like you have a really well rounded perspective.. Of speaking to her and letting her know how you feel, and also allowing her to be human and be free. Could it be a good approach to head into that convo without any expectations maybe? Just a genuine conversation being yourself? I am really impressed you're going to have this catch up with her, let us know how it goes.

When are exams over for you?

Re: relationship stress

@Bree-ROyes it is very interesting!

YES thats true. That would probably be the best approach to not to expect anything but to be myself and let her know how I feel. The thing I am worried is that she wanted to meet just as friends. So does being myself and letting her know my feelings would go over that limit? And I was thinking possibly to ask her whether we could meet like this again at the end of the convo just so we can catch up and see where we are at our lives but just as friends. But if I let her know all my feelings then you know it wouldnt make much sense that I just want to meet her as friends and she may or may not accept to meet again which means I might lose the chance of hanging out with her like this again.. OR I could say stuff that, and just be myself and let her know what I truly feel like and then take it from there? what's your take on all of that? Its a tough one cause it could go either way. By the way I randomly bumped into her few hours ago today and just smiled at each other and one thing I can see always is that she dont want lose our friendship. The reason I mentioned this is that eventhough I have no expectations, I would assume she will make at least some effort to keep the friendship going once I let her know my feelings? Yeah thanks, like I said I am glad I've got this chance to talk to her..

My last exam is on 15th this month. I will see her before that and really hope it works out well and I will have a peaceful mind for my last exam.

Re: relationship stress

Hmmm... you've laid out a few options for yourself there @meesha, which is a great start. What course of action would you feel most comfortable with?

 

Also, best of luck for your last exam!! Smiley Happy 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: relationship stress

@letitgoThank you!! Smiley Happy

Yeah I feel like getting another opportunity with her to talk like this should be the main priority. If I be too serious about this and go all out and let her know all of my feelings then this could go either way you know. I mean I really wouldn't want to have the option of ending things from here. I mean I would rather have her as a friend than nothing at all. Hence I'll just be friendly with her and wouldn't go all out and be too serious about this. but on the same time I'll be open about how I feel about her just so that we are on the same page. at the end of the day I'll keep in mind that we are meeting as friends and getting her to meet me again is my main priority. hope this makes sense? but I feel like I am going to be nervous as hell and on the situation and might do something else :/ I really hope that's no the case

Re: relationship stress

Hey @meesha, I've had a read over this thread and I think that it seems like you really value your friendship with this person, so if you want to just be honest with her then go for it! It is better to just be upfront with a person you really care about, and if she values your relationship with you then she will probably try and be as understanding as possible of your feelings.

 

It makes perfect sense to be nervous about it though! Do you think it would help to be open about your nerves as well during the conversation? It would give her an explanation for your behaviour, at the very least.

Re: relationship stress

@safari93Thank you!! I really like your opinion about this Smiley Happy
Yes my gut says to be open about it and be honest but on the same time to go slow on this. I don't want to push her for something she don't want at this moment. which in return could make things worse and I could possibly lose the chance of developing this in to an actual relationship. but yeah I think being honest is the way to go. So you know there would be nothing to hide or nothing show after that really. 

Actually I have previously tried to be open about my nerves in other different situations. but I couldn't work it out unfortunately. may be it was because those situations weren't such casual situations. but yeah something to keep in mind. I'll get about roughly couple of hours with her so hopefully I could ease in to this convo since I have some time you know.. 

Re: relationship stress

@meesha Definitely go with whatever works for you! And keep us updated on how things go Smiley Happy

Re: relationship stress

@safari93Thanks, will do Smiley Happy

Re: relationship stress

@cupcakes_032 @lokifish @Bree-RO @letitgo @safari93 

 

So guys just thought to give you guys an update. after having a bad exam in the morning I came outside and saw this message from this girl. it says that she had a thought about the meetup and she thinks that its not a good idea to meetup since she don't want to make her boyfriend uncomfortable even though he doesn't have any problem with it.

 

This was such a rough timing as well coming out of the hall for this message.. felt so hurt.. as corny as it sounds, I was really really looking forward to finally getting the chance to talk to her about this. or not just her basically express my feelings about someone I love. but anyway I read bunch of articles on internet to get my mind straight. I understand there is absolutely no point of trying to pursue her to something that she don't want to. but it sucks you know. She also said she is sorry about this and she hope that I understand this and that she Is always happy to meet in a group setting.. 

 

Idk a month ago she said she doesn't have a boy friend and it looks pretty obvious she doesn't have one. So few days ago she was like she is 'kind of seeing someone' and now she talks about a boyfriend?? I mean I just don't buy it. it looks as if she doesn't want anything more than a friendship with me and just trying to give an excuse.

but at the end of the day I understand it. It sucks, sucks big time. not just this. feels like a failure in life, not just this but everything. feels rejected, feel hopeless feels down and out. but I understand.. there are lot of more worse things that could happen in life. will just need sometime.. what do you guys think? how should I even response?