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rough times

Hi there,

new to the forum, just after a little advice on how to handle a situation...

so my partner and i have been going through a lot ,10 yrs together, 3 kids, mortgage, but this time last year he tolled me he had been on ice for a year- this is after an addiction to oxy'x/painkillers/codine. i was angry but stayed through it. in this time he had a girl messaging him, i found this a little inappropriate and let him know- i wont go deep in detail, nothiing was happening that im aware but it was headding in a crossing the line kinda way and with all the pain of being lied to for a year i could deal with that too. so we got through all that and now he drinks.

he went to a party and i didnt, didnt bother me. but when he came home he mentioned he grabed a girl on the ass and her and her bf left. that didnt sit right with me, so i facebooked the girl. she tolled me he ruined her night, sexually harrassed her and other women, and to never contact her again. i asked her if she could please tell me what happened, she said no its not my place, do not contact me aga.

i just need something... i dont know, other peoples oppinion on weather that was crossing a line or cause he was so drunk he cant remember thats a reasonable excuse.... how do i go about asking him about what the girl said...

thank you in advance x

Re: rough times

Hey @Cazza3, that sounds like a really hard situation and a lot to consider.  Have you tried speaking to a family counsellor, or phoning Relationships Australia?

 

Just to let you know, ReachOut.com is intended for use by 14-25 year old Australians. Anyone is free to read content on ReachOut.com but you must be 14 and over to become a member. There are a few other forums online that may be more beneficial to you such as the BeyondBlue forums or the Sane Aus Forums. ReachOut also has a space for parents to peer support one another here at ReachOut Parents.

Hope this info helps, sounds like you are taking the right steps by seeking support Smiley Happy

Re: rough times

Hey @Cazza3,

 

It must be so hard to go through this.

 

I can't offer any professional advice, but in my personal opinion, for me, that would be crossing the line. Drunk or otherwise I believe it is completely reasonable for you to be hurt/conflicted by your partners actions.

My advice would be to just sit down and have a cup of coffee together. Get the kids out so you two have some time to yourselves, or get a baby sitter in and go out together. It is always best to keep these conversations calm as they are difficult conversatiolns to have. Checking in with the other person, can be super helpful when having a tough conversation to ensure that they are understanding what you're saying AND to ensure that they feel listened to!

 

Just think about what you feel is best for you and your children. Speaking to a counsellor might be really helpful to sort out some of the conflicting feelings you're feeling.

 

I hope my advice has helped!

All my best x

Re: rough times

thank you both, no sorry i didnt know that i'll check out beyond blue... i have made a referal from my doc to talk to someone, just have to be proactive about it x

Re: rough times

Awesome to hear that you are taking the steps to get help Smiley Happy

 

Hope the referral goes really well for you