I believe I have had 'scrupulosity'. Though I have not be magically diagnosed as of yet, I'm pretty sure something is not right.
I cannot start my day without praying when i wake up, I cannot eat without praying ( giving thanks), I cannot go to sleep without saying a bedtime prayer.
I believe I am a religious person and I do believe in god. But when I pray it's nothing for me to spend as long as 2 hours a day doing so. And when I'm not praying all I can think about is how I hope I can get through my prayers quickly so I can eat or go to sleep. The only real time I have when I'm not feeling anxious is when I'm sleeping.
I know all the prayer off by heart and they should only take under a minute to say, but if I don't say them exactly right I have to repeat certain parts over and over and over.
At work I go to the bathroom for long periods of time before lunch just to preform my prays so I can eat, but usually I just don't eat.
I'm too scared to go to my parent and to scared to see a doctor or tell my friends. I have researched extensively looking for self help techniques but to no success.
This post is all over the place sorry, but I'm 18 years old, apprentice from south east Queensland.
Is the anyone out there with something similar or someone who know where I can get help?
Re: scrupulosity?? OCD??
welcome to the forums and sharing your concerns.
i may not be the most religious person but i sure do appreciate people who are.
so good on you ! i wish more people took religion a bit more seriously.
so when you don't pray that makes you anxious ?
i guess when it starts to negatively affect different aspects of your life, that's a signal to start doing something differently.
and that may be to talk to someone.
having the courage to confront personal issues is a very difficult thing. now that's something i know.
you can write a letter and pass it on to your parents or whoever.
or have a quick chat to see what they think.
keep me posted on what you think.
Re: scrupulosity?? OCD??
Hey TommyC... I noticed you mentioned you are too scared to talk to a doctor, your friends or your parents... But you are right in thinking that it is probably a good idea to talk to someone - because it sounds like the feelings and thoughts you have are having a pretty big impact on your day-to-day life. Talking to someone outside the situation can help you make sense of what is going on, and you'll learn how to stop your problems from getting on top of you.
You've taken a great step in posting here about it - how would you feel about having an anonymous online chat with a counsellor? Or you can even email with them. You could explain a bit about what's been going on to get it off your chest - or you could even cut and paste what you have a posted here (if you are a bit scared or not sure what to say.
Click here to find out more about webchat with a counsellor at eHeadspace, or you can email with them too.
One last thing I wanted to tell you about, is an online tool you can use to learn how to have healthier ways of thinking. It's called e-couch. self-help interactive program with different modules - the generalised anxiety & worry one might help you??
You've taken a brave step forward by posting here on ReachOut.com and we really hope that you stick around! Just keep taking more steps towards some of the different help options above and you will find something that is right for you. Good luck.
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