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struggling (TW?)

Struggling a lot at the moment.

 

A few days ago my husband told me he didn't think I added anything good to his life/ that I made it worse. (Things I've previously voiced as worries that he just confirmed).

 

Feeling pretty hurt by the way my KHL counselor spoke to me today so gonna take a break until I'm convinced the need to talk is bigger than the risk of talking.

 

Don't really know what I'm doing with my life/ what I'm able to do. Stressed about going back to uni.

 

Just feeling pretty alone and overwhelmed and bad about myself and not sure if anything can help.

Re: struggling (TW?)

Hi @hellofriend thanks for reaching out to us during your time of struggle, it sounds like you've got a lot going on. I'm sorry to hear what your husband has said, that must be really difficult to hear. I'm not sure of the details but I'm wondering if relationship counselling something you both would consider? That's awful to hear that you are feeling hurt by the counsellor you spoke to. Do you currently have any supports or a close friend you could speak to? What are some ways you can practice some self-care during this time? We're here for you Heart

Re: struggling (TW?)

Hi @hellofriend, It's been a week since your post, and we haven't heard from you so I just wanted to check in and see how things are? Heart It sounds like you had a lot going on last week that was really stressing you out. You mentioned going back to uni, what do you study? 
Im very sorry to hear that you feel as if nothing can help take the bad feelings away, I would love to be able to chat with you about strategies that you could use to practice self care and help to not feel so alone and overwhelmed. Do you like reading? I'm reading an amazing book at the moment called "The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down" By Haemin Sunim and theres lots in there about reducing anxiety and staying calm. There is also a whole chapter on relationships, so maybe it could help you with your husband?
We are here to help you and make you feel less alone Heart

Re: struggling (TW?)

Thanks for the responses @Lan-RO @Jane_Rose Heart

 

@Lan-RO we've talked about couples counseling as a possibility before, not currently sure if it would help or taking steps towards it. Since last posting he's said he didn't really mean it, and was using hyperbole because he was feeling overwhelmed. I'm not really sure what to think about it all but our interactions have been good since I guess mostly, it's just hard to forget it. Tried talking to my KHL counselor about stuff going on, that's not going great, and I have a face to face counselor but I don't really know how to talk to them about anything. Don't really have close friends I could talk to either :/ As for self care I got a fun new haircut, have been going to my regular sports stuff, reading Harry Potter, sometimes going to the beach... still feel pretty crap though.

 

@Jane_Rose Thanks for checking in. Studying primary school teaching, but now so worried I'll never be able to be a good teacher or cope in that profession. Don't know of anything else I could do well/be happy doing either though Smiley Sad not really a big reader (usually struggle to find the motivation to read anything but familiar books from my childhood, which are fairly limited), but I appreciate the suggestion and might look into it at some point

Re: struggling (TW?)

Hey there @hellofriend, thank you for updating us on how things are going! Smiley Happy

 

It's okay to be feeling unsure about things with your husband, it can be hard to forget negative comments. Do you think you'd be able to speak to him again about how you've been feeling? It's great that you tried talking to your KHL counselor! It can be really hard to talk to people about how we're feeling, and that's okay. Sometimes we can use other methods to share how we're feeling with others, such as writing or drawing, would those be options for you? What do you think?

 

Nice work on self-care too! They sound like lovely activities. It's okay if you're not a big reader too, I often prefer rereading my favourite series rather than new books as well. 

 

People often make a lot of changes to their careers throughout their lifetime. I know someone who completed a teaching degree and then went into construction. And that's okay. It's great that you know what you want to do in your future. Teaching can be a wonderful and rewarding experience. Have you had any placements yet? They can often be a great indicator of how we will cope with the job. I'm sure you will make a fantastic teacher, you offer such amazing and compassionate support to people on the forums, any student would be lucky to have you. While teaching can be difficult, you can still have access to various supports to help you cope. Have you spoken to any of your lecturers or peers about your fears? They are more likely to have a better understanding of what you're feeling, what do you think?

 


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