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Re: struggling

hi @Jess1-RO  nice to see you Heart 



family can sometimes be so difficult. lately I struggle to even be around them without feeling exhausted now. but since I don't get reprieve its like im constantly drained from them.


ill have about 3 days away from family etc so that might help abit. ill be close but not close enough sort of things. the hospitals aware of everything from medical conditions, to family roles, to caring duties, even to my location being so far away. they cant do to much about it though esp since im out of area. 



ive had so really upsetting and hard news this morning at an appointment. its taking me a while to process it even though it was something I expected. I guess I didn't expect it to actually become my new reality and now will need treatments of some kind for the rest of my life. 

I know you've said im strong and resilient but im struggling to bounce back from this. 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: struggling

Hey @scared01 


I'm sorry to read that you've received some upsetting news today, especially with everything you have going on already. I hope you're given the space you need to process the news and do something nice for yourself. 


With everything going on it sounds like you could really use some respite Heart  I wanted to link you in with this really awesome website that allows you to put in your location and search for the support you need. It's called AskIzzy - I did a quick search for you and it came up with a bunch of results. This here is one of them but I'd recommend exploring the site and seeing what service may be best for you. 


I thought I'd also pop the government page for Young Carers here - Just in case there's any information there you haven't yet come across. 


Lots of strength to you Heart 

Re: struggling

hey @Bre-RO
yeah its been really hard to try and process mixed in with being so tired but I also know I wont sleep tonight is making things abit of a mess here in my life and brain/body.

It would be nice to have respite however my caree also has to consent to it and when I mention anything like that or even if I show abit of emotions except happy. I get told I make him feel sick because im not happy and that hes becoming a burden or whatever other guilt trick he has. im linking in with young carers already, just not involved in their groups or anything else. they say to ring carers Australia or demetias aust or usually whatever site has the person condition ie alzheimers, diabetes etc.

ill have a look at the other sites though and see what happens.
right now all I feel like doing is hiding away.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: struggling

Hi @scared01 


Sounds like you're juggling a lot at the moment.  I am amazed at your strength and courage.  I know you said you may not get much sleep tonight, but I hope you can do something nice for yourself as you deserve it Heart

Re: struggling

hi @TOM-RO
I did get some sleep last night which was good, mostly on and off but I got a few hours after 3am. I was hoping that maybe yesterday was some kind of dream but unfortunately it isn't and now its changed my mindset about a few things. what was once my decision is now something I cant do anything about, it wont happen now. Smiley Sad
I don't really know what to do with myself. at this age its hard for me to see a reason this would happen esp this early in life.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: struggling

Hey @scared01 I'm so glad to hear that you managed to get a bit of sleep last night Heart

I'm sorry that you got some heavy news at the appointment Smiley Sad It sounds like it'll take some time to adjust, and I hope you're able to give yourself that time, and to grieve if you need to. Maybe write a letter to/about your loss? That's something that helps me...

Thinking of you Heart 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: struggling

I'm so sorry about the bad news @scared01. That really is awful. You're right that it's unfair that you have deal with such heavy things at a young age when you should be in the prime of your life. Smiley Sad

It sounds like you have a lot to deal with and your family doesn't make it any easier for you. I'm glad that you can at least have a bit of a break as you recover from your surgery.

It can be so hard to convince your caree that you need to do your own thing and that they need to cooperate with you. My grandma also tries to guilt-trip me into staying with her all day. She doesn't like anyone coming to the house who is not family and complained about the carer we've hired for her in the past. I'm not sure what the solution to that is but I'm hoping that she'll eventually get used to respite. Would your caree listen to the positives about having respite?

I agree with @Jess1-RO. You sound like such an independent and resilient person. You're such an inspiration to many of us on the forums. Heart

Re: struggling

hey @letitgo @WheresMySquishy
thanks for the responses, sorry I haven't been online much. with a surgery fast approaching, some family issues, and the latest news I haven't had much time to think.
@letitgo - im not to sure a letter would be helpful, its a really weird feeling but I did speak to a few online on social media with the same condition as me and it was helpful in trying to accept it and to know how im feeling is quite normal too. I just have to let the emotions flow I guess and just adjust as I go..

@WheresMySquishy umm, my caree is very hesitant in getting help even at home unless its from family. he thinks that me asking for help means he will be put into a nursing home or that I don't care about him so it puts me in a really hard position. I thought id see how I just giving a little meantion of it- not saying respite but just getting some help and it didn't go well at all.
so stubborn and in denial atm I think..

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: struggling

Aw @scared01 you have a lot on your plate. How are you feeling about your upcoming surgery? 


It's good to hear that you connected with some people that have the same condition as you. Sometimes it's just such a relief to talk to people who really get what you're going through.Heart 


I can see how it makes it hard for you to get respite if your caree wants to be cared for by family. It sounds like it's difficult for you to talk about how you feel at home, without it being taken the wrong way - that must be really difficult to manage. How do you respond when your caree reacts to you asking for help? 


Know that you are safe to speak freely about your experience as a carer on the forums Heart Your feelings are valid. Also - just wondering if you've ever heard of or used the Carer Gateway



Re: struggling

hey @Bre-RO
I am super nervous and worried about my surgery. its coming up so fast now. most of the major things are done now but I still have abit to save for as well. every time I save to make it look better I have a few envelopes and once I have what I need for that specific thing I seal it up e.g petrol so far ive sealed 3 envelopes but still have another 3 to go. ive only got till next week to get it all sorted but if I don't the day I leave for the surgery (so the day before) its my pay day anyway so I can put off a few of my usual payments to bills if I need then catch back up again.

ive had a look at carer gateway, they do have some good resources but everything like counselling or just to talk to someone requires me calling and im not comfortable in doing that. they really need to make some helplines for carers that don't require ringing up.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**