I am super busy lately. with an upcoming operation I have so many things I need to arrange, organise, pay for and try to fit in appointments for myself and caree. so its been pretty crazy. theres only about 3 weeks left to go now. ill probably pop in and out still though when I can. itll quiten down after the surgery so will be able to be here more again.
its pretty overwhelming though trying to get everything sorted out
. in between now and the op besides what ive already mentioned I also have to fit in appointments, a few tests to take with me, caree appointments, house cleaning, shopping and getting a few things to take with me, getting new tyres and a few other repairs I had booked in before I knew the op was changed to a closer date. its quite overwhelming!
Im not really coping that well tonight. my family makes me so damn nervous I get beside myself. I feel like I cant do anything without them noticing or critizing me. everytime I do something its why am I doing that or why am I selling this or that like I have to answer to them all the time. it makes me want to hide away and delete all social media accounts. I feel like im always being spied on by them. im an adult, why do I have to answer to them esp when its teenagers and younger kids.
That sounds like a crazy amount of work @scared01.
I'd like to know what would happen if someone without much money needs an operation like that. It sounds like a headache.
Your caree sounds a bit like my grandma. She makes a lot of messes that we're forever cleaning up too. I've been having a lot of problems with her recently. She seems to be getting paranoid about me leaving the house and wants me to stay with her all the time, which is hard because I'm also doing volunteer work outside of the house and visiting my sister in hospital. Someone from My Aged Care came and said that we can organise for respite, where someone can stay with her when we're out of the house, but we have to tell them when to come in advance. I would really love to be able to leave the house spontaneously, but it's hard.
That's so frustrating that your family keeps hassling you. Reminds me of my family. I try to hide what I am doing when my family members come home because they keep asking annoying questions and demanding that I do stuff for them.
Would your family members understand if you tell them that you need space?
it really is hard having to care for someone else, and when its not hard its super draining hey. im glad that you can get help at home though even if its not spontaneously. some help I guess is better than no help.,,
my family are demanding for sure and we don't really have the best relationship that's for sure. what bothers me besides those expectations etc is that I feel like they are spying on me, not like getting onto my accounts sort of thing. for example im cleaning out the house and selling some things but when something that doesn't have an obvious cause or something simple like clothing item, I get the hundred questions. tonight I advertised a piece of equipment that I said I would start using again and my sibling msgs me basically growling at me and asking why im selling it when I said I would use it etc. it really puts me on the spot when I don't have to answer them. just makes me upset.
Getting asked a million questions is really exhausting, and I am hearing that in your last post From speaking to you over the last year and a half, I have come to know that you are such a strong and independent person who is carrying a lot of the responsibility of your family at the moment. Caring for others can make you a stronger and more resilient person- I definitely see both of these qualities. When you are making such big decisions for your family and their wellbeing, like planning their care when you are in hospital, the flipside of feeling interrogated for what you sell online must be really frustrating.
When you are recovering from surgery, will you have some respite from your caring responsibilities in that time? I can see you got the loan to arrange care at home- so glad to hear this has come through for you Are the hospital staff aware of your caring responsibilities? I'm wondering if there might be additional support for you while you are there as a young carer.
Thinking of you this week @scared01! When caring does become hard, or draining, you can always reach out to us here. We are here to listen and show you the compassion and love that you are giving to everyone else in your life right now
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