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support for a friend

Well here I am again, typing this sort of thing up at 12:46am listening to same old depressing music. Loving it ay

 

Anyway.

A little back story. Theres this chat group I used to hang out in all the time, I'll call it T's Crib.

In T's Crib before it got deleted there was like 200 or so members but only a few were active and thats where I first met sarah (not a real name of course). This was around 2 years ago. Since then we were talking on and off about random stuff, giving each other shit about our accents (I'm Aussie and shes Kiwi) every now and again.

 

More-so in the last 5 months we've been talking like... every single day. I kind of knew from the start of then that she wasn't too happy about much and around February she told me that her brother had actually committed suicide a couple months prior to when we first met.

 

I never asked any details so as a rule of thumb I never bring up the topic of weapons or anything around her, but pretty much every night (and every week of the month) we try to talk about it when shes feeling down. She was really really close to him. She'll sometimes be crying and sending me songs that her and her brother used to listen to all the time, and she'll send me some depressing songs that shes currently listening to, and it hurts to see such a close friend feeling so down when theres almost nothing i can do.

 

Almost every time I manage to cheer her up with some funny youtube videos or some random shit we can do online, but y'know thats not always super easy.

 

See I've never met her in real life which really sucks. We always talk about one day meeting up which would be awesome.

 

 

Anyway I'm getting carried away. I was wondering what sort of things I might be able to do to cheer her up more often. I'm not too good at asking questions but what are some ways I can get her to talk it out maybe? 

I always try things like "Do you wanna talk about it?" and she will sometimes say 'i don't know'. Not too sure what I should do in situations like this.

I've never lost a loved one before so I can't really relate to her position but shes such an awesome friend and it means a lot to me to see her happy. 

 

 

I'm sure any advice will be helpful if possible. Cheers Smiley Happy

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Re: support for a friend

Hey @OLDtimer, that sounds really lovely that you are looking out for your friend. It sounds like you are putting in a lot of effort to cheer her up. She must be special to you!

In regards to being able to cheer her up, honestly, the best person to ask is her! She will know the best way that it can be done. You could ask her how you might be able to help her at the moment. She might enjoy some of her favourite activities/hobbies. Sometimes it might be easier to ask her when she is in a better mind space and then you can keep it in mind for when she is upset. If you're not sure if she wants to talk, you can reassure her that when she is ready, you are happy to talk. Does she speak to a professional? It is really tough to deal with the death of a loved one.

How are you feeling about supporting someone, especially on a topic that can be quite confronting for some people?
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Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right.
– Henry Ford
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Re: support for a friend

Hey @T4ils thanks so much for the reply, I appreciate that.

She is special to me yes. Not sure how to explain it but yeah she really is. Smiley Happy

I think the tips you listed are perfect, I didn't think of any of that. I have actually asked her before whether it might be a good idea to go to some sort of HeadSpace but she told me she's been before and just doesn't feel comfortable talking to anyone about it in person, which is fair enough I guess.

I feel alright about it I guess. It is a bit confronting I agree but I just want to try my best to cheer her up.

I'll update you tomorrow if anything happens. Again, thank you so much for replying.