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telling mum

I have come to the decision that I'm going to open up to my mum about the sexual abuse I suffered as a child. This is scaring the shit out of me but I know she needs to know. Trust is a big issue for me especially when it comes to family so this is a very big deal for me. I don't know how my mum will respond and I don't know what to expect after the shock dies down. Will this tear apart my family even more than it already is? Will this destroy the small amount of trust I'm finally building with my mum? Will she freak out and disown me?. Will she protect my abuser? I guess I won't know the answers until it happens. I have tomorrow to prepare at least. And thenI'm catching up wwithin for lunch on Wednesday and I'm going to spill the beans so to say.
I know I posted a topic a out this a while ago while I was questioning this so I'm sorry. But now I'm actually going to do it. And now I also have the support of my therapist and casemanager. So wish me luck.
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Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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Re: telling mum

@redhead,

You're just amazing. Strong and brave, and doing stuff that's really hard, because you know it's what you need to heal. Wishing you all the best for your conversation with your mum on Wednesday.

 

blithe

 

Re: telling mum

Hey @redhead , talking about this kind of thing to anyone is an incredibly brave step to take and I think it's great that you've worked up the courage to tell your mum. No matter how it goes, know that you've done what was right for you and how you feel and at the end of the day that's all that matters. Wishing you the best of luck, I hope it all goes well Smiley Happy

Re: telling mum

Hey @redhead what you're doing is so incredibly brave and I wish you best of luck! You also definitely have the support of the ReachOut community Smiley Happy

Re: telling mum

@redhead i know this is something you have been contemplating for a long time so im glad you have finally come to a decision.

 

there are things you can do in advance to help you through the conversation (like come up with possible responses your mum will give - and think about how you can react to them and how you can help show her how you have been feeling), but sometimes, it's also better not to think to much and to just do it!

 

i know whatever you do, this will be just one step in a new direction for you - hopefully one that leads to a positive and more open future.

 

thinking of you and wishing you lots of support

lanejane
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Re: telling mum

Hey @redhead 

 

I agree with everyone that you are being amazingly strong and courageous. It's so great that you have decided that this is what you need and are doing it. Well done.

 

I just wanted to ask you what you have planned for after the lunch? Are you going to see your case worker or call her? It's highlly likely you'll need to debrief with someone that knows you and what you've been through.

 

As you say, you have no idea how your Mum will react. Have you mentally walked through some of the possible reactions she may have so you can feel a bit prepared?                                                                                                

Re: telling mum

Thanks everyone. Seeing mum in an hour so I'm starting to freak out. Part of me wants to chicken out, but I know this needs to be done.

@NigioC my casemanager has training all day so won't be available. But I'm seeing my psychiatrist at 2 so possibly can debrief with him. And I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: telling mum

How did it go @redhead ? 

Re: telling mum

@Chessca_H it was very nerve wrecking. She responded ok, had lots of questions and I told the ones I was happy to answer. Feeling pretty numb now tho
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: telling mum

What a huge step for you @redhead - you were incredibly brave to go through with it and have that conversation. I'm glad your mum's reaction was appropriate and you felt in control of the situation to the extent that you didn't feel pressured to answer questions you weren't comfortable with. Do you have someone around tonight that you can maybe chill out with and watch some telly with to keep your mind otherwise occupied?