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Re: tw: im over this

oh no @litgym! no wonder you're feeling so drained Smiley Sad
i hope you get lots of sleep tonight Heart you deserve a good rest xx

you did so well today, you've been really brave Heart

Re: tw: im over this

Hey @litgym, how are ya today? Here for you xx

Re: tw: im over this

thank youHeart @ecla34

 

@annabethxchase I dont get it anymore. I live in such an abusive and toxic house, ive told every professional to get me out of here and they dont realise how abusive it is. I cant LIVE here anymore. Im so done with this "family". I dont feel safe at home, from myself or my mother. I'm scared someones going to get hurt Smiley Sad the only thing ive been offered is lifeline contacting child protections but im too scared to say yes because mother will hurt me.  I cant handle this anymore, I want to stay in hospital away from "family" and feel supported by the nurses etc there. My psychiatrist doesnt want to put me in an inpatient psych ward just yet but its MY NUMBER ONE WISH. He said if its just to get away from my mother and about my safety then theres no point. Those are only a few reasons, of course there is many others. I just dont know what to do anymore, im so lost Smiley Sad Lately ive never felt this bad in my life...my mental health is rapidly declining fast. Im at this point in my life where I want to be 100% dead, theres no part of me that wants to be alive anymore. ive been smashed into the ground, knocked down too many times, nothing can change how I feel. I literally dont care anymore if I die. I hate the fact ive gotten to this point Smiley Sad

 

I am safe right now, just explaining how I feel

Re: tw: im over this

@litgym, I don't know what to say because what your explaining just sounds absolutely terrible. It must really bother you that your professionals aren't listening to you, obviously it's just making you feel worse! Hmm, have you tried webchatting 1800Respect?

 

It's understandable that you are scared to contact Child protections services! I would be as well... I think the best thing to do is say yes but of course, that will upset her  a lot and will maybe make things worse... Do you know what will happen when you contact Child protection? From my experience with my fathers abuse, 1800respect contacted them and said it was unlikely that they would do much about it, I ended up getting an email saying 'blah blah can't look in because blah blah' and that was the end of it. 

 

I here you with hurting your family. The things they do make you feel so, so horrible you just want them to be able to feel the pain they gave you Smiley Sad It sounds horrible, but hat's a thought that often runs through my head. You aren't insane litgym, I promise Smiley Happy 

 

I've heard of voluntary admissions to the hospital so can you do that? I reckon that hopsital sounds like an 'escape' as well as you will hopefully be helped and supported by all the lovely nurses. 

 

I can feel your hurt radiating through the screen @litgym Smiley Sad It breaks my heart Smiley Sad I wish I could do more for you but for now:

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Thank you for confirming that your safe Smiley Happy

Re: tw: im over this

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Oops, the GIFS didn't load Smiley Sad

Re: tw: im over this

thanks for the lovely responseHeart @annabethxchase

ive tried 1800respect before but they made me feel worse about the situation Smiley Sad

 

people say talking about suicide, telling your family it gets better but it doesnt. It only makes things a million times worse. I know RO supports the youcantalk complain thing but I hate to say it, it doesnt get better gets worse. society really needs work on this. professionals tell your parents you have to be watched 24/7, have boundaries etc but this actually makes the child feel worse. especially if the family isn't supportive on the situation. sometimes I wish I never owned up to feeling unsafe :/ just owning up to suicidal thoughts isn't the answer, I hate to say it. I dont want to stop people owning to how they are feeling but it is the TRUTH !

 

ill talk about the admission with G only 2 days till shes back, finally !!

Re: tw: im over this

That's ok @litgym Heart

Ah, bummer Smiley Sad

I whole-heartedly agree with you on that, but I do think for some people it does get better - the people with supportive family and friends most likely - but for others it only makes the situation worse Smiley Sad Everyone's experiences with depression and mental health are different and that's why there's no clear way to recover Smiley Sad 

 

YAY!!! Was she on holidays? Hopefully she can help you a bit more Smiley Happy

 

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Re: tw: im over this

yeah I guess but everyone I know their family has been very unsupportive so it is a very common thing @annabethxchase

 

yeah, her mum came down from the UK so shes been spending time with her

Re: tw: im over this

Hey @litgym I'm sorry that you're feeling lost and like you don't have any options. 

 

I can understand that calling child protection would be a very scary thing to do but if you're under the age of 18 and need to be removed from your family and home due to safety concerns then @annabethxchase's suggestion of calling 1800respect may be the best thing.

 

I found an article on RO - What to do when your home is no longer safe? and it sounds like you've done most of the suggestions accept call 1800Respect? Again I know this can be scary but they will be able to give you the best advice, based on your circumstances; and possible make a report on your behalf. Do you think you would be able to give them a call just to see what their advice is? 

 

I also just wanted to say thank you for letting us all know that you're safe and are just expressing how you feel. I did have to edit out one small part of your post (if you have any questions as to why - please send me through an email Heart)

Re: tw: im over this

Apologies @litgym I've just seen more of your posts, after I posted my response!