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Re: tw: please stop

the appt went horrible ! @mrmusic

i basically started an argument with her which is great ! she just isn’t the psych for me !! she is calling my GP now which is great....im just so upset. im crying and im ANGRY !! now mum is getting pissed at me because im upset. and now i just wanna die, all in the space of 30 MINUTES ! my khl counsellor is pissing the shit out of me, im so over every MH organisation/system 😡😡

and ffs I am SAFE okay

Re: tw: please stop

oh @litgym that sounds really frustrating! I don't blame you for being upset Heart it seems like there was a lot of big negative emotions going around from all sides. How's it going now? 




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Re: tw: please stop

im even worse @ecla34

just had another meltdown because my khl counsellor isn’t in today even though she is meant to. I HAVENT SPOKEN TO HER IN 18 FUCKING DAYS !!!! she keeps fucking around with me. like it honestly proves that im better off dead and i really do want to kill myself. i was bawling my eyes out on the phone and swearing, this poor counsellor had to deal with my mess. im so so sick of khl, they ARE a shit service. i need to kill myself

 

im fucking safe okay ffs i wish not 

Re: tw: please stop

and maybe that’s true. i am nothing and don’t mean anything to anyone. true fact why i should be dead

Re: tw: please stop

It sounds like today/tonight has been really frustrating and hard for you @litgym Smiley Sad

Finding just the right psychologist for you can be such a difficult and tiring process and it sounds like things with your mum and khl aren't making things any easier for you right now. This is so much for one person to handle at once and I can hear how much this is affecting you.

However I can say with the upmost confidence that you mean SO much to the RO community and everyone here. I am always seeing you pull not only yourself through difficult times but other members on the forum too. You bring so much strength and light to the forums and I always smile seeing the way that you support yourself and others Smiley Happy

How are you feeling now? x

Re: tw: please stop

@litgym sorry about the khl issue they can be difficult to use on an ongoing basis as most of their staff work shifts and they arent always the same shifts so no one ever seems to know when someone will be there. also it is good you have identified that your psychologist isnt a good match was there something in particular about what the psych was doing that you didnt like? if there was maybe keep note of it to look out for if you end up seeing someone else so you know what you are looking for or rather not looking for. another question which of course you dont have to answer if you dont want to but are you with CAMHS at all? i just get the feeling you are looking for pretty regular support and sometimes the community teams can give you a case manager who you can see and who is kind of "on call" at least during business hours who you can phone if you need. i mean CAMHS isnt perfect but if you arent finding current services are working they might be worth a try. 

Re: tw: please stop

im not even gonna bother explaining the khl situation because nobody seems to understand @Eden1717

 

i was with a local crisis team similar to CAMHS but Mum doesn’t like me being with the public mental health system so i don’t think CAMHS is an option. 

 

my psych was just being super triggering and making me super angry so i kinda just bursted 

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Re: tw: please stop

thank you Heart @linkinpark13

 

im currently waiting to see some specialist GP and she is running late ergh. just not in a great place and wanna sleep and eat chocolate 

Re: tw: please stop

@litgym khl has not been good to me so i think i can get some of where your coming from but of course every experience is different. 

as for the CAMHS thing with your mum i can understand that the public teams are quite different to private and there is a lot less control over who you get and what happens with them than there is in private. 

the psych is hard too sometimes they try and "push" you to try and get you to open up or to challenge yourself but that can backfire and if they push too much it often doesnt end well. bursting is fine if it happens it happens. i would suggest though if you go back try and talk through why you go upset and let them know what they did that wasnt good in a calm conversation as i find they often listen more when you arent super upset. of course only a suggestion. 

what are you planing on doing today? 

Re: tw: please stop

Hey there @litgym,

The situation with KHL sounds super frustrating. While it can be a helpful service for some, for others it can be difficult. You are 100% valid in your experiences with them, do you think sending them an email about how you've been feeling would be helpful for you?

GP's often run late, don't they? Have you been in to see her yet? Sleeping and chocolate sound like some nice self-care activities for after this appointment, what do you think?

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