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tw: sexual assault/harassment ?

so i haven’t told anyone this and its making me feel really uncomfortable lately. 

 

so while i was away 2 things happened with 2 different guys and i never wanted any of this, im still so young ! the first encounter i was forced to do stuff and felt like i didn’t have a word in the say. i couldn’t speak or move. the second one same thing happened again and then i got up and left but when i came back i kept saying no but i was then forced upon again. it’s just making me so uncomfortable lately and it keeps circling my head Smiley Sad

Re: tw: sexual assault/harassment ?

Hey there @litgym,

 

I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you, it was absolutely not your fault. It can be really hard to open about when something like this happens. Are you safe from those guys now? You mentioned in another thread that you're seeing your psych tomorrow, is this something you'd feel comfortable bringing up with them? 

 

Another great helpline that specialising in sexual assault and harassment are 1800Respect, who offer both a phone helpline and online counseling. What do you think?

 

You are not alone in this, we're here to support you.  

 


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Re: tw: sexual assault/harassment ?

@Jay-RO yeah they don’t go to my school or anything but they want to catch up and they are really nice people but it’s like they have two sides Smiley Sad I’m not at all comfortable telling my psych. ive tried opening up to some of my closest friends but they start laughing and call me a “horny bitch” or a “slut”....im 14 i never asked for any of this Smiley Sad

 

i might contact 1800respect but they’ve never been  helpful for me in the past Smiley Sad

Re: tw: sexual assault/harassment ?

Hey @litgym

 

It's good that they don't go to your school. Is catching up with them something you'd like to do? It's hard when people are nice but are also rude. It's definitely okay to not feel comfortable telling your psych. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to open up here Smiley Happy 

 

Trying 1800Respect sounds like a good idea, I'm sorry they haven't been too helpful in the past. Reachout also has a long list of services over here that might be more helpful to you than 1800Respect, what do you think?

 


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Our new guidelines are now live, check them out here!

Re: tw: sexual assault/harassment ?

i do want to see them because they are so lovely but i don’t want them to think im just some girl that they can do whatever with. i hate how men are still in control and use females for sexual stuff. my friend was at a pub and then these 2 guys grabbed her....just it makes me so upset @Jay-RO Smiley Sad 

 

tbh it took so much courage to open up to RO. when it comes to sexual stuff im pretty awkward with all that so im not too keen on talking to any of my professionals or helplines

Re: tw: sexual assault/harassment ?

@litgym i obviously dont know these people but i kind of feel like if they did something bad to you then maybe they arent such nice people..... there are a lot of times when people (women in particular) are hurt by men or partners and dont think it counts or forgive the person because they "love" them and they are "sorry" but often that is just a trap and a way the abuser manipulates the person to put them into a situation when they can abuse the person again. again i dont know these people or what happened but please be careful and try not to fall into a trap of fake niceness. because at the end of the day assault is still wrong and unacceptable even if the person is "nice" also i am sorry this is stressing you out. and please consider telling an adult.  

Re: tw: sexual assault/harassment ?

@litgym my heart broke for you while reading this Heart
I want to congratulate you on opening up and telling us - you are so brave!

I'm sorry to hear that your friends weren't particularly helpful or supportive of you when you tried to tell them. Please remember that this is not your fault, and those boys were in the wrong.

I think it is pretty reasonable that you're not too keen on talking to a professional or helpline about this right now. I hope when you are ready you get the support you deserve Heart

In regards to seeing the boys again, it sounds like you are a bit conflicted about it. On one hand you know they are nice people but on the other hand, they sexually assaulted you. It's a tricky situation for sure. Do you feel like you'd be safe if you saw these people again?

 


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Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: tw: sexual assault/harassment ?

it’s too hard to tell an adult @Eden1717

 

@Bee awww thank youHeart when it happened i didn’t think too much about it but recently the flashbacks have been so strong. ive realised how fucked up it was.

 

i wish i could explain exactly what’s going on but that would be breaking the guidelines. it’s just it doesn’t make full sense so everyone probably has completely different ideas on what im trying to talk about Smiley Sad the amount of how fucked and bad it is, is not great ! 

 

but what if it was my fault , maybe i led them on or made them think they had ins with me. idk

 

honestly it’s hard to explain due to their age is fucks more things up ergh. i don’t know , it could turn into kissing i guess if it was in public but in private that’s a different story Smiley Sad i just feel so powerless 

 

i spoke to 1800respect and all they wanted to do is report it ergh. i didn’t even go into details 

Re: tw: sexual assault/harassment ?

@litgym I'm sorry to hear the flashbacks from it are strong

Would it help to explain it in a journal or type it into your phone as a way to process it for you?
I want to acknowledge that you're being so mindful about the guidelines in talking about this, I don't imagine it's easy.

It's not your fault. Words from your first post "forced", "I didn't have a word in the say. I couldn't speak or move", "I kept saying no" indicate that it was not your fault. It is NEVER the victims' fault. Heart

Sounds really hard. I'm sorry to hear you feel powerless about the situation. Is not seeing them an option?

 


Get to know each other more in our monthly Introduce Yourself HERE!

We updated our guidelines! Check them out HERE!
Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: tw: sexual assault/harassment ?

@Bee I can’t even admit to myself what happened, i hate thinking about it Smiley Sad it’s disgusting!! i couldn’t even tell 1800respect last night and i definitely can’t journal it to myself, so

disturbing ! 

 

honestly im really torn. only if i could explain things everyone would get a completely different view and would actually understand more Smiley Sad i don’t know :/