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I shouldn't exist. I'm nothing more than a blob that takes up space and resources. I can't be bothered doing anything. Can't even motivate myself to stay angry at myself, or upset, or to hurt myself properly

____________________#iftoastershadfeelings____________________

Re: blob

Hey @Bay52VU!

How're you doing today?

I know we've talked about negative thoughts in the past and also had a pretty incredible debateabout dealing with emotions. Did you get anything out of that conversation that you can act on? If not, let's try and find something! 

Re: blob

hi @Bay52VU

 

If your need some additional support, a cool place is Headspace .

 

They can help out with different issue like how your feeling in person. Maybe an opportunity to go a bit further then is achievable here.

 

A cool thing that helps me feel good when I am down is "giving". Is there a time you have freely given to someone else? Or done a random act of kindness?

 

 

You dont need to be angry at yourself @Bay52VU. Everyone has their own personal definition of success. If yours isnt that same as someone else's thats okay! I think the best thing to do is look at your journey, and take one step at a time.

 

Little achievmentes all add up. In the military as well as with some peak performers like jimmy Ferris (awesome podcast) , they start their day by making their bed. This simple 'achievement' starts the day with positive momentum.

 

You shared some awesome ideas about emotions with me the other day. I really enjoyed that conversation. 

Keep up the good work!

Re: blob

Thanks guys, I know that you're trying to help and get me to think positively but I just can't. I think I'm just one of those people who just aren't meant to make it. 

____________________#iftoastershadfeelings____________________

Re: blob

I think your post is missing a really important word @Bay52VU - YET. You can't think positively yet. You've been posting here for a while now, sometimes on good days and sometimes on bad days, but either way it helps a little bit right? I've even seen posts where without realising it, you've been turning negatives into positives. So you definitely have the power to get there! You are totally gonna make it, and we're always gonna be here to lend a hand, or an ear, or an e-hug, or whatever else you need.

Re: blob

@ElleBelle I don't think I am. One day it's just gonna bob down too far and that'll be that. I don't want to feel better temporarily. I don't know what I want. But I know what should be done with broken stuff when it's too far gone to fix. 

____________________#iftoastershadfeelings____________________

Re: blob

Hey @Bay52VU
It's okay not to know what you want. It's an incredibly slow process figuring out everything. Do you have a safety plan or anything like that?
You said that you know what should be done, is there any way you can work towards doing that now?

Like @ElleBelle said, we're here if you need us. *hugs*

Re: blob

Hey @Bay52VU, firstly don't think you are too far gone to fix, because that's simply not true! Just being able to speak your mind and how you are feeling shows us clearly that you are trying to get better, and you will so get there! You will have ups and downs, but it will be all worth it in the end. Fari enough that you don't want a temporary fix, use that in a postive way and keep working on making yourself better for longer each time until it becomes your new normal.

 

Check out some of the fact sheets we have on how to change your perspective on negative thinking. Let us know what you think.

Re: blob

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____________________#iftoastershadfeelings____________________

Re: blob

Hey @Bay52VU, it can feel easier sometimes to just give up when there doesn't seem to be a solution at hand, but it may come to you eventually while you try to help yourself get better and stay that way for as long as you can. The more you practice looking after yourself, changing your mindset like @Zekk suggested and learning what works for you, the closer you can get to understanding where you want to go and where you want to end up. Working through the safety plan could give you some insights into what you might want to work towards.

 

Sending you support and hugs, because it is really stressful not knowing where to go. But you have shown some insight and positive thinking before, so you definitely can keep doing it