Hey @Bay52VU, have you tried to focus on neutralising that stress that is getting you to this situation? Have a look at this fact sheet about Stress Strategies and this one if you feel like you are always stressed.
Do you have someone that you can talk to about what's going on, maybe a close friend or a family member? A different perspective, or simply a vent might help you get through it.
I think what @safari93 has said about getting your safety plan right is definitely a good idea as well, have you spoken to a professional about this? If it's all getting a bit much tonight, don't be afraid to contact eheadspace.
I think sometimes when in the past for whatever reasons someone has had strong habits associated with negative thinking, even when things have changed the person may remain to an extent vulnerable to their old ways of thinking, partly because those habits were reinforced over such a long period of time.
Perhaps being aware of this may help, and over time you can build up your more positive wellbeing strategies, and the old strategies that are less succesful may fade away out of atrophy and lack of use.
Hey @Bay52VU, how are you doing? Do you have anyone with you or that you could call to talk about these thoughts?
I noticed you referenced an "unsafety plan" and this worries me. I'd really like it if you could look in to making your own safe plan so it is ready for when things get tough. Do you think you could do that?