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whats wrong with me

Hi,

I don’t know what to do anymore and I don’t know whats wrong with me and since I don’t really have anyone to talk to I decided to post on here. So here goes, I don’t really know where to start but ok. I always get moody like crazy mood swings. I’ll be happy for a bit and then the next thing you know I’ll be balling my eyes out. The thing is I cant control it. I get angry at the smallest things so that might be why I have mood swings. I don’t really have anyone to talk to, my family life is crap, I don’t really talk to my friends, and my boyfriend; even though he Is wonderful he’s never there for me when I need him so I don’t really have anyone to talk to. Then again im not really a talk about all my problems kinda person. It used to be really bad a few years ago, I would always ut myself or hit myself till I stop crying. But recently it got bad again cauz after me and my boyfriend got to gether I stoped harming myself but I cut my self again a few days ago. I don’t know why cauz I know its bad but it makes me forget about all the crap that’s going on in my life. I know this whole message thing is all over the place, that’s kind of like how my brain is. Oh ya I also do this thing were I imagin different scenarios and somewhere along the line I think I get confused with whats real or whats something I made up and then I end up getting mad. I don’t know what wrong with my brain so can someone please tell me whats wrong cauz I don’t know what to do anymore. I got really bad a while ago like when I used to cut all the time, it got so bad that I was having suicidal thoughts all the time and the suicidal thoughts are back again. I don’t know what to do, I know something might be wrong but I cant talk to anyone about it. I literally cry like all the time. Sometimes im ok for like a few days where I’ll be happy or something but it slowly wears off again and im back in that lil black hole I call my life.

 

I would appreciate it if someone would take there time to read this and help me out cauz clearly I don’t know whats wrong or if this is all normal or something

Re: whats wrong with me

Hi hipolove,

Thanks for sharing your story with us here on ReachOut. It sounds like you're going through a tough time and it shows a lot of strength for you to have come here and made a post.

 

Okay first up since you mentioned having suicidal thoughts - I'd like you to keep this number handy, it's for the Suicide Callback Service and they're available any time 24/7 on 1300 659 467. You can have a look at their website here: http://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/

 

Have you talked to anyone else about how you're feeling? Sometimes it can feel so overwhelming when you keep something to yourself as you feel like you're the only person in the world. I hope you have someone close to you that you feel safe confiding in. It might reassure you to know you're not alone - there are many people out there who are just like you - some of them you'll find here on RO, they've made it through and stuck around to keep helping others Smiley Very Happy


One thing I want to point out is that you talk about being 'moody' - well, there is a difference between being moody and possibly having a mental health issue which is causing you to feel emotionally unstable - and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I have anxiety & depression and yet I'm also a happy, productive person with a great job Smiley Happy
The only way to find out for sure is to talk to a medical professional - a doctor you trust is a good start. They can then help you out with a course of treatment that's best for you.

I'm concerned by the self-harming especially as you stopped for a while and seemed to go back to it. Again, it's something you should really talk to someone about and get help with.

You can also give Kids Helpline a call on 1800 55 1800 or check out their website - www.kidshelpline.com.au
They have trained counselors you can talk to by phone and they also do online counseling.


Take care, and please come back and let us know how you're doing.

 

JD

Re: whats wrong with me

Hi Hipolove,

 

Congratulations on your first step, being this post. Just getting the thoughts out in itself is something to be commended. As the previous post suggested, self harm, no matter how incidental is very serious, so before acting in this way again, or even when you have any thoughts like this, please call someone. Whether it be lifeline, 131114 or anyone else, don't shrug it off, call.

 

The only peice of advice I can give you as someone that has gone, correction, is going through similar feelings, is that 'you are who you are ment to be, so that you can be who you want to be.' In other words what you're going through now will make you a beautiful person in the future, who is kind, and sensitive to those around them, and trust me, one day you'll be the one either reading a post, listening to a friend, or noticing someone, and know, what you went through was ment to be so that you know what they are going through.

 

Much love

 

jwalker