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Re: why cant i beat this :(

yes @N1ghtW1ng thats exactly how i feel.

i have told my psych about it but she said its such a long progress and that becasue ive been so use to it for so long the change is hard to accept within my self even if i think i accept it. -hopefully that makes sense

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: why cant i beat this :(

That does make sense @scared01 Smiley Happy Does it make sense to you? Change is definitely is a hard thing to accept, especially when we've been living one way for so long. But that doesn't mean it's not possible Smiley Happy

Re: why cant i beat this :(

Yeah @N1ghtW1ng it makes sense. 

I just wish it wasnt so hard to change even the smallest of tiny things. 

Its quite annoying and frustrating 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: why cant i beat this :(

@scared01 I think at this point it might be helpful to think about what your definition of 'succeeding' is. In our hearts we all hope and wish that once we start therapy we will markedly improve but unfortunately that's not a realistic hope and when we try to hold on that it can actually make you feel worse when you do inevitably have bad days. In the end therapy can give us the tools we need to cope but it does mean we still have to accept and experience the actual depression, which does suck! But if you feel like therapy is not helpful I would really suggest discussing your progress with your therapist and seeing what they think. 

 

Also, I'm really sorry to hear that your family and friends aren't supporting you the way they should. At the very least know you have us here on RO and that we will all try to be here for you when you need it. If you're unhappy with your friends it might also be worthwhile asking someone you don't know well to grab lunch sometime--it can be fun just getting to know a new person and take your mind off things.

 

In regards to your job, is there a supervisor you trust that you can talk to about this? Maybe you two can work out a plan regarding the key duties you need to perform and how to maintain that performance. If not, I think it would also be helpful to evaluate what key areas you think you are failing in, if the situation is really that urgent or if that is the depression talking, and coming up with some manageable tasks you can tackle to improve the situation.

 

I know this must be all really hard especially when you are depressed but know there are people who are supporting you and cheering you on...we all believe in you and we know you can make it through this.

Re: why cant i beat this :(

@DirtWitch
to me succeeding is being able to at least take baby steps and not be sent flying backwards at every single try.
I know therapy will take a while and ive only finally just found a therapist who ill be sticking with hopefully. I need something to stay constant for once.

RO is one of the best things that have happened to me since being diagnosed with a mental illness- well several anyway. Thats the bad thing havent got anyone else. Im isolated everywhere.

My job is another thing that I a lone thing. I just go and clean paddocks by myself. I dont really want to involve my boss- she knows I had a mental breakdown but I dont want to go into too much detail.

My boss literally tells me the jobs that need done that week and I do them in whatever day I can and shes fine with that. I feel like im failing my pop. I needed the extra money for the horses and this job came up and because its flexible I took it.

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: why cant i beat this :(

@scared01 hey, how was your day?

 

I'm glad you've been able to find a long-term therapist; I can definitely relate to how hard it is to find a regular practitioner that you can really build a relationship with. I think once I saw three different psychologists over two months! (It was mostly due to bad luck because they kept leaving). How is your therapist? Do you like them?

 

It's also really good to hear that RO has been so helpful for you. And whenever I see you around on here you're always really supportive and it's clear you're doing a lot of good as well. Is there anything similar to RO in real life near you? Like any support groups? There's a health centre where I live that does community activities like gardening, going out to lunch etc. and it can be really nice. 

 

I understand why you don't want to involve your boss but it seems like she can give you some support with your job if you need it, and that you can sort of take things at your own pace and give yourself some breathing space as well.

Re: why cant i beat this :(

hi  @DirtWitch

i was triggered countless times yesterday and had 2 panic attacks as well.

ive seen 6 therapist in a course of only 8 months so far and im really hoping this one is a keeper. she seems to know what shes talking about.

 

unfortunatley theres no groups around here that are to do with my age.

theres a community centre and run young kids play groups and teenager up to 16yr old and then aged people. no in the  middle bracket.

theres an interst group for all ages up to 25 but in my area all of them at 17 and under.

 

but no actaul specidic support groups. theres a dbt group therapy but thats a minimum 6 months wait!

 

yes my boss is pretty handy and i can control some of it like the days i can do with some of the part time care horses but the paddock cleaning she leaves to me.

 

how are you going today?

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: why cant i beat this :(

@scared01 Panic attacks always bloody suck, I'm with you there Smiley Sad I'm glad that you've hopefully found a decent therapist though Smiley Very Happy

______________________________________________________
No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: why cant i beat this :(

they are really friggin scary @lokifish but i know they wont kill me or anything. its jsut an explosive amount of panic and i jsut have to breathe through it, generally ill ahve a bit of a walk too even in bed ill get up and go to the bathroom or get a drink from the kitchen

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: why cant i beat this :(

@scared01 I'm sorry to hear all of that happened to you. Even though it seems like you're handling them well it really sucks when that happens. In the end we can't control what we get triggered by and what causes panic attacks, we can only control how we respond to them and not let them get to us. 

 

What's the interest group about? So it is for people up to 25 and the participants are just younger people?

 

To me it's really cool how you work with horses...I grew up in Asia and I've never been to stable. I think the first time I've ever seen a horse is when I was 19! Paddock cleaning seems like hard work but it seems like it might also be nice sometimes just to put your back into something and stop thinking.

 

I've been really busy. Uni has started over here and the next months will be pretty stressful since I'm graduating soon. I'm one of those people who hate it when their future is uncertain and I'm really struggling to cope with that instability.