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why is this happening!!!

Hey 

Sorry i hav not posted on her in a while. it has almost been two weeks since i went in for surgery an im not coping as good as i thought i would be. Im not happy im struggling to sleep, im not eating. i just dont feel normal. I feel like i lost apart of me during surgery and im not happy about it .. 

 

My best friend had a baby not long ago and she brought her over to try and cheer me up as she knows how much i love children, it worked for about ten minites and then i went back to feeling sick and just so upset. 

I dont know if this is a normal feeling after surgery or not.. 

 

After my surgery I found out that i am unable to have children and the conditin that i have no one can cure it there is no treatment out there. 

The doctors recently found a lump on my optic nerve which there is now an 80% chance i can go blind. I am now waiting to hear if i have any in my brain becasue if i do then i will need to go in for brain surgery and have the lumps cut out.. 

 

sorry for my rant xx

Re: why is this happening!!!

Hey @Talitha93 

 

Glad to hear from you. Don't be sorry about ranting - we're here to hear you out. Completely understandable about what's been going on.  

 

I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling your best and that post-surgery hasn't been what you had hoped for. With how you've been feeling post-surgery, do you think you could talk to your doctor about what you've been experiencing? This way, you could found out whether this happens often or not to similar patients, and what options you have as well. 

 

Stay strong and let us know how you go Heart

___________________________________________________
Stay excellent

Re: why is this happening!!!

 

HEY @Myvo 

 

I spoke to him this morning when I went and got my sticthes out. He said that it is normal to go through thingslike this especially after the Surgery i had ( masectomy) he said he personally thinks talking about how you are feeling and what you rare going through will help you get through this easier. he wants to send me to a phycologyst to talk about my feeling. but i just hate talking to councilors face to face. 

 

thankyou <3 

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Re: why is this happening!!!

Hi @Talitha93 , having surgery, particularly the kind of surgery that you have had, is a huge, hugeeee experience! You shoud be really proud of that fact that you not only made the decision to have surgery and that you went through with it, but that you're also looking for ways to help yourself along post-surgery. You should definitely not feel ashamed or bad or abnormal about how you're feeling because to be honest, if I went through what you had gone through then I think I would be feeling pretty different to how I normally feel.

 

Every person feels different about speaking to counsellors face-to-face, and again, it's definitely normal to feel some aversion to it. After all, opening up and talking about how your feeling, especially if you're not feeling so great isn't always a nice experience. It still may be worthwhile to give it a chance because you never know when you meet the "right" counsellor for you (sometimes you have to meet a few), but if you're really opposd to it then have you considered maybe using an online or over the phone service ? There's an online service known as 'headspace' you might consider checking and lifeline also offers an online health service where  you might discuss your health / mental health concerns. Alternatively, perhaps there is an online community for people who have undergone the same surgery ? That might be a really cool experience where you could connect with people who have had similar experiences.

 

I'm sorry to hear you might have more impending surgeries too! This may be a little bit cliche, but I'm thankful that at the very least you have a team of Doctors working on things to find out what's going on! Sometimes the worst part can be not knowing.Like @Myvo said, stay strong and let us know how you go! We're all here for you! 

Re: why is this happening!!!

@KitKat

Thank you for your kind words an advice.
Its very hard knowing that all this is going on and feeling like this is normal. I have never felt like this before an I honestly hate adding my drama onto other people. I dont know weather they are going to think im crazy, abnormal or just strange. So i usually keep things to myself but i will have a look at the websites and see how I feel over the last two weeks ive just stuck to myself and been in my room.
I havent really been able to talk to many people. I have had a few people over but i dont feel like socialising with anyone. Mainly at the way i look.

Thank you Smiley Happy

Re: why is this happening!!!

Hey @Talitha93 

sorry to hear about your surgery, it must a very tense time for you waiting for results from doctors.

@KitKat gave some good resources for you that will help with opening up to counsellors.

 What hobbies or leisure activities did you enjoy before the surgery that you can retreat to now to help calm yourself? What part of yourself did you feel like you lost during the surgery? I'm sure there are ways to retrieve it Smiley Happy

Re: why is this happening!!!

Hey @Student94
myself im not the same bubble person i used to be. I used to think anything is possible an now i dont even know what im supposed to be doing
All i do is sit in my room and cry an i never used to be like that

Re: why is this happening!!!

Nothing much to add just wanted to say we are here for you.

Change is scary at first but then fear goes away quite quickly. You will be amazed at how strong you can be.

I have incurable chronic nerve pain and I remember how distraught I was. Why me etc. But we will all adapt.

 

Stay strong. Take care.

Re: why is this happening!!!

Hey @Talitha93  I'm not surprised to hear that you aren't feeling bubbly and upbeat, you've had an unbelievably unfair and difficult run.  You've done such an amazing job, and I think that you are very inspirational and courageous

 

I completely understand how you would be feeling glum and down right now, but you aren't a different person to who you were before all this.  To me, it sounds like a perfectly rational reaction to what you've been through.  There's nothing wrong with feeling emotional, you've had to deal with some really difficult problems - but you've handled all of this with such courage and you can be very proud of yourself

 

 

 

Re: why is this happening!!!

@Student94 The results  came through yesterday, but it has been very tough up until then not knowing whats going on or what is going to happen. I really enjoyed soccer and getting outdoor but im not allowed to do any ohyscial activity for a while so I am honestly out of things to do. i'm not a very social person when it comes to other things im a shy person that only stikc to my normal friends and they are the girls i play soccer with. 

 

 

 

@standinside thankyou it just feels liek my life isnt going to get better and I dont know what to do about it. i cant eat i cant sleep its driving me crazy!!!!

 

@tsnyder Its been so unfair an i dont know what i done to deserve this. I feel like i am being punished for something. I dont feel like ive done a great job i feel like i have let people down by the way i am acting and just pushing people away becasue thats just me. I have to go through chemotherapy and i told my doctor that i didnt want to go through becasue im not strong enough and i cant deal with it right now. he told me the risks in not having chemo and i didnt care about the risks i just want to live my life the way i was before all this is happening. im not proud of the person i am or ive become. i used to be happy i used to laugh at things and now all i do is sit in my room and cry, i cant bring myself to doing daily activitites becaue i dont have the energy or just dont feel like doing anything. i would rather sit in my room and do nothing.. Its hard an im finding it difficult to talk to anymone about how im feeling. 

honestly right now im just typing away and not reading a word of it- so sorry if it doesnt make sense..