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R U OK? 2019

R U OK today? 

 

Today is the day we ask RUOK? (I swear that wasn’t meant to rhyme). It’s a really important question because as I’m sure many of us can agree on, it can be really intimidating telling someone that you are not okay. This day is all about encouraging connection, breaking down stigma and giving/receiving support. 

 

This is something we do really well on the forums - I’ve honestly never come across such a strong supportive online community before. This can be a little trickier in real life though, so I wanted to get a discussion going about that. 

 

If you are interested you can read in depth on the RUOK? Website here but here’s an easy step by step on how to approach difficult conversations about mental health. 

 

R U OK.PNG

 

Activity: 

 

R U OK today?

 

How would you approach a conversation with someone you’re concerned about? 

 

Do you have an example of a time where someone asked if you were okay? How did it help to have someone check in with you? 

 

Re: R U OK? 2019

Love this thread! 

 

R U OK today? 

I will admit that I have been going through a lot lately. I am under a great deal of stress in my last couple months of university and am feeling very uncertain in my current relationship which is making me question my independence and who I am as a person. BUT, I have an amazing support network filled with friends and family that support. So yes I am ok, and I know that this stage of my life is just a phase and I will work through it.

 

How would you approach a conversation with someone you're concerned about?

I think the best way to approach someone is simply asking them "How are you going?" or "Have you been doing okay lately?" A lot of people may not open up to you straight away, so I think it is a good thing to check in regularly and let them know that if they do ever want to talk then you are available. 

To initiate the conversation I have previously messaged someone or simply asked to go out for a coffee and a chat if I feel like they need support or I am worried about them. I think just by letting someone know that you are available to talk if they need is the best way. It lets that person struggling know that they have a support network they can reach out to. It may also be the best way to help someone realise they are not alone. 

 

Do you have an example of a time where someone asked if you were okay? How did it help to have someone check in with you? 

When I have recently been going through a stressful period in my life, one of my friends reached out to me simply asking "are you okay? I'm here whenever you need". It made me happy to know that this person goes out of their way to check in on me and to let me know that they are there for me if I ever need to chat.

 

I think a lot of people are intimidated by asking people about their mental health as they don't think they are able to help individuals that are struggling. However it can be as simple as asking "R U OK" Smiley Happy 

Re: R U OK? 2019

R U OK today?

Honestly, no. Recently things have been harder with my mental health... Although I'm trying to fight through it and be as positive as I can be. There's not many people who I can be totally honest within my everyday life. 

 

How would you approach a conversation with someone you’re concerned about? 

I agree with everything @lr8991 has said. 

In addition, I have previously shared how talking about issues I'm having has been beneficial for the person I'm worried about and have found that my openness and willingness to show my vulnerability to them helps them open up a bit too. I have also been the person who when someone is going through a tough time and if they're not up to talking, I've said that I'm here when they are ready, even if it's to sit and watch a sad movie and cry. Sometimes just being there with someone can help them feel loved/appreciated/supported Smiley Happy

 

Do you have an example of a time where someone asked if you were okay? How did it help to have someone check in with you? 

I'm having trouble identifying a time, but I'll come back and update if I remember one.


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: R U OK? 2019

@Bee & @lr8991 thank you for your honesty with how you are doing. You are both amazing.

 

R U OK today?

I am having a really good day today Smiley Happy

 

How would you approach a conversation with someone you’re concerned about? 

I try to approach someone really genuinely with things like 'I've been thinking about you lately' or 'It's been a while since we've talked' to open up the conversation.

 

Do you have an example of a time where someone asked if you were okay? How did it help to have someone check in with you? 

I had a tough day on the 10 year anniversary of my cousin passing away and my friend checked on me to see how I was and if I was doing anything that day. It made me feel connected and I was grateful she asked if I had plans that day as she knew I would need to keep busy. It was really thoughtful and I appreciated the small gesture.

 

Re: R U OK? 2019

@Bee that's so lovely of you, i agree that sometimes just being present with someone is really helpful, the words don't have to be perfect!

sending lots of hugs your way xx Heart

 

@lr8991 thats a really nice way of reaching out to someone. Even if they're not up to talking to someone yet, by letting them know you're available to listen it kinda opens the door to future conversations too Heart i'm sorry to hear that things are tricky with your current relationship at the moment Smiley Sad but so glad to hear that you've got such a solid network to support you Heart 

 

R U OK today?

I'm actually doing pretty good this week Smiley Happy I'm chugging along rn

train GIF

 

How would you approach a conversation with someone you’re concerned about? 

I usually try to bring up the subject in a coversation that's already going so the person doesn't feel like they're being cornered or called out or anything (though that's not always possible)..

Usually I say something like:
"Hey dude, I've noticed that xyz recently, just wanted to check in and see how you're doing? You doing okay?"

You hear a lot that it's just asking the question that's the most important thing, and I definitely agree there Heart sometimes the words really really do not come easy, or there's no comfortable way to bring up a certain topic. But just putting it out there that you're concerned for someone is so helpful. 

I think a convo i had recently along these lines started with something like "hey, so, potentially awkward question here dude, but xyz,, are you okay?" which was not a shining example on my part, but was definitely better than saying nothing and let the person know I was looking out for them. Doesn't have to be perfect Smiley LOL 

(it's defs okay not to call people dude as much as i do though, idk serious convo = dude in my mind apparently Smiley LOL)

Do you have an example of a time where someone asked if you were okay? How did it help to have someone check in with you? 

Both my sister and my roommate check in from time to time, and it's really nice knowing that they give me space if I need it/ don't want to talk, but also let me know that they're there to chat if need be Heart Heart It feels very safe and like I can open up on my own terms Heart




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We had a Slow-Mo Getting Real chat on Family Changes during the week running from the 7-11th of October! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart
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Re: R U OK? 2019

@lennycat2017 that's really thoughtful of her, i'm so glad you had that kind of friend looking out for you Heart Heart Heart Those conversation openers are really lovely by the way, especially "i've been thinking about you lately" I feel like anyone hearing that would feel so cared for Heart 




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We had a Slow-Mo Getting Real chat on Family Changes during the week running from the 7-11th of October! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: R U OK? 2019

R U OK today?
I have a lot on my plate right now, so I've been a bit less active on the forums. I have been thinking 'How am I going to do all of this?' at times. But I am feeling mostly okay today. Smiley Happy

How would you approach a conversation with someone you’re concerned about?
A simple 'How are you?', 'I hear you', or 'Is there anything I can do for you?' can go a really long way. Active listening techniques and telling them that you care about them and want to support them can be really helpful. There are some useful apps to help you a plan this kind of conversation like this one and this one.
It can help to not make it feel like an 'intervention' or like you're accusing them of something or trying to force them to get help.

Do you have an example of a time where someone asked if you were okay? How did it help to have someone check in with you? 
A family friend who moved away called to check in on us and tell us that they're thinking of us the other day . It made us feel like they really cared about us and it was great to have some support because we've been experiencing a lot of stress recently.