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Re: Sexuality: Special Discussion

I agree with everyone here! 

I think it really resonated how important it is for those coming out to have a supportive social network that they can rely on. That feeling of relief and freedom when you are finally able to live as your true authentic self is also so important to acknowledge. As a community, I think it really emphasises the importance of validating peoples experiences when coming out, as well as celebrating with them when they feel safe and able to live their lives openly and authentically Smiley Happy

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"Happiness can be found in even the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
-JK Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Re: Sexuality: Special Discussion

Why it's okay to question your sexuality – and what you can do about it.

I like to think that it is okay to question your sexuality because heterosexuality is not the default setting for everyone, and therefore should not be assumed of everyone. Everyone, gay, straight, bi, or otherwise, takes time to get comfortable with themselves as a sexual being, and for some people, this may incorporate a bit of uncertainty about who you are attracted to. This is completely okay, because this is not always straightforward.

 

At 20 years old, I now identify as a lesbian who is exclusively attracted to women, but I know that when I was first coming to terms with my sexuality, the question of who I was attracted to did not always have a clear answer. It took me quite some time to differentiate between the different types of attraction - sexual attraction, romantic attraction, aesthetic attraction, sensual attraction, etc - and to determine for myself which forms of attraction needed to be present in order for me to consider being in a relationship with someone. 

 

No one gives you a rulebook when it comes to understanding sexual attraction, and is often more gray than black and white. While sexuality is something that just eventually feels right, it is completely okay to experiment with different identities and sexualities until you find the version of yourself that feels the most authentic. There is no right or wrong answer, so don't be afraid. 

Re: Sexuality: Special Discussion

im loving reading everyones responses here.
@queenP i really like your answer to question your sexuality. im not set in stone but i feel like im more bi since i like both men and women however i still tend to gravitate towards males. possibly because that is the 'norm' in my family thouh we do have friends who are in same sex relationships and about yrs ago before same sex marriage was legal we attended their commitment ceremony for them.

I think its normal to question your sexuality, theres definently nothing wrong with that and i feel that it should be the norm to do that rather then 'taboo' so to speak.

you made a good point with the types of attraction too, when i first started question my sexuality that was something i thought about as well as in 'why am attracted to this person' is it actually romantic/sexually or is it more of a resonating freindship forming etc.


**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Sexuality: Special Discussion

Part 2: Why it's okay to question your sexuality – and what you can do about it

 

We have spoken a little bit about what sexuality is, and heard from two courageous young people, Gwyn and Helen, about their personal journeys of exploring sexuality. Reading through the responses, we can see some really strong takeaways from Gwyn and Helen’s stories- here are some of the key words we saw in your reflections:

 

reflections.png

 

This week we are going to look at the topic of Questioning Sexuality:

Why it is okay to question your sexuality and what you can do about it: 

 

Questioning and exploring sexuality is a really individual journey! Whatever is going on and wherever your journey is at, questioning and exploring your sexual identity can be confusing and a little bit scary. You might be worried about how the people you love will react, or what it means for your future. It’s important to remember that, while it might feel overwhelming right now, you’re more than capable of getting through this tough period – and it won’t last forever.

 

When you have that first moment of questioning your sexuality, you may wonder what it means and what you should do about it. One thing we learnt from Gwyn and Helen’s stories was that each person leads their own journey, in their own time and in their own way. First up, you don’t have to do anything straight away. Take whatever time you need to work out what these feelings mean for you, your identity and your future. There’s no time limit, so hit pause and give yourself a break.

 

Here are some places you can start:

  1. You could take some time to look at other people’s experiences of discovering their sexuality. We heard from Gwyn and Helen about their experiences of discovering their sexuality, and there are so many more courageous people sharing their stories too!  QLives has a great series of videos, and celebs like Troye Sivan have also shared videos on YouTube.
  2. It might help to read up on sexuality – it’s a broad spectrum of feelings and experiences, and is definitely not as black and white as some people might think. ReachOut has some great content on sexuality, or browse through the forums to hear from other young people. 
  3. Settle in with a book or a movie that explores the lives of LGBTQIA+ young people.

 

Activity 2:

 

Have you or are you questioning sexuality? 

 

What did questioning sexuality looking like for you?

 

It’s also really common to feel a bit anxious when questioning your sexuality, and there are ways you can get support!

 

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Re: Sexuality: Special Discussion

I definitely agree with taking your own time to explore your sexuality- there is no deadline or due date for sexuality and you can take as long as you need when figuring it out.

 

Have you or are you questioning your sexuality?

Right now I am actually questioning my sexuality, mostly because at the same time, I am also figuring out my gender so the labels I use are changing. For now though, I am using "queer" because it is a term that I can find a community in which isn't reliant on my gender. Another thing is that I am finding lots of terms that would describe me well, but I don't "feel" like I identify with a lot of them (such as bisexual or pansexual) which has led to a lot of confusion where I can't distinguish between attraction or "I want to be them." This is especially true for males, where I often wish I was that person because then I wouldn't be questioning my gender. 

 

It can seem a little overwhelming when you first start to question your sexuality, as it has been taught from an early age that being straight is the "normal" and there is nothing beyond that, so when you start to think that you might not be straight, it can be really daunting to deal with. Sometimes it helps to talk to another person about this who has lived through a similar experience or someone who has more knowledge about the subject and who can help you figure yourself out Smiley Tongue

Re: Sexuality: Special Discussion

Thank you for all your support! good bye, will be missed

Re: Sexuality: Special Discussion

No thank you. These will be my last posts for good, and not to be rude or anything here, but I’d really, really appreciate it loads if mods and managers could please stop including me in special discussions about these kinds of topics, because, face it - I’m never going to be the kind of person to be a part of these discussions, because it doesn’t mean that much to me, and it’s starting to annoy me a bit. 😊

Re: Sexuality: Special Discussion

Hi @Matty D 

Thanks for being upfront and providing the feedback, we will make sure to keep this in mind when tagging in the future. 

 

 

Re: Sexuality: Special Discussion

Hi All 

 

I have really loved hearing everyone's thoughts on the sexuality discussion. From the videos we watched in Part 1 what really resonated for me and my journey was the support network and feeling lighter. I am really excited to see what discussions are generated from Part 2 Smiley Happy

Re: Sexuality: Special Discussion

Have you or are you questioning sexuality? 

Yeah, I have questioned my sexuality - pretty recently earlier this year, in fact! Like @not-an-otter, I'm still questioning my gender, such that I'm going to identify as "queer" for now, since it is the supposed umbrella term for genders other than the biological sex. But I feel like I identify with "genderfluid", but at the same time I don't, if that makes sense? However, with my sexuality, I'm fairly confident that I identify myself as pansexual, but am okay with the bisexual label as well. I just feel like pansexual is a tad more accurate. 

 

What did questioning sexuality looking like for you?

A whirlwind spiral, let me tell you! It was crazy, it was like questioning my entire life existence or something. There was a lot of Googling LGBTQ+ jargon, contacting QLife and reading other's peoples stories with questioning sexuality/gender. But at the same time, once I've accepted that I was queer, it made me exhaled this big breath of relief that I didn't realise I was holding. 

 

Btw, I 100% agree with what @Claire-RO and @not-an-otter have said about there not being a deadline to figure out your sexuality! Plus I love the flowchart you've posted @Claire-RO! I love the simplicity and imagery of it and I think it looks really helpful Smiley Very Happy

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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around