Here are the top 5 unconventional ways that I practice self-care.

1.Playing Video Games

 Good alternative to: Reading

 Why it counts as self-care: It provides a distraction, stress release, and occupies your mind in a fun and low-impact way

About a year ago, a friend gave me her old PS4 as a gift, and it has been a real game changer for me when it comes to decompressing. I’ve never been much of a reader, but I’ve always enjoyed games that challenge my brain like Sudokus, crosswords, and puzzles. Since I got my PS4, I started exploring games like Grand Theft Auto, Red Dead Redemption, and Spiderman, and I was surprised by how invested I became in the fantasy worlds they created. On a Friday night, after a week of working, volunteering and studying, I often can’t wait to order a takeaway, grab a cold drink, and play the next chapter of my game for an hour or two. 

To me, these games are as good as reading a book when it comes to destressing. They require you to use your imagination and give you an escape from whatever is going on around you, but they also give you a chance to make choices, problem-solve and even connect with friends if you’re playing online. Sure, some of them are fast-paced and involve a lot of action, but as long as that action doesn’t have anything to do with my work deadlines or uni assignments, then it’s relaxing to me. 

2. Having a Dance Party at Home

Good alternative to: Journaling

Why it counts as self-care: It provides an outlet for your emotions and it gets your body moving

When I’m feeling overwhelmed by lots of emotions, sometimes I take to my journal and write about the things that are bothering me. A lot of the time, this is really useful, because it allows me to openly express myself and get my worries off my chest.

Sometimes though, writing doesn’t feel like enough. Emotions often take a physical place in your body - when I’m angry, I can feel the heat inside my chest; when I’m down, I feel a heaviness in the pit of my stomach; when I’m anxious or stressed, I feel tension in my shoulders and my back.

To shake off some of these sensations, I like to put my headphones in and dance it out. Some days, I’ll put on a ballad and sing at the top of my lungs, while other times I’ll put on some Kendrick Lamar and bust out all my frustration on the dancefloor (aka. On the carpet at the end of my bed that I’ve decided is a dancefloor). No matter what I’m feeling, there’s usually someone who has written a song about it that I can dance to. Not only does that mean that I feel a little bit less alone, it also gets me moving, which is great for relieving stress.

Having a dance party works for positive emotions too. On days where things have been really good, I throw on some Lizzo and bust a move with my partner, and it’s impossible not to smile and laugh at each other. 

If you’ve ever seen me bust a move, you’ll know that I’m no dancer. But that’s the great thing - you don’t have to be! If you’re dancing in the comfort of your own home, no one needs to see you while you’re getting funky, and you can blow off some steam in any way you want to.

(One piece of advice though - close your blinds before you get started…I’ve given my neighbours a good laugh or two). 

3. Saying ‘No’

Good alternative to: Extravagant self-care routines, overcommitting

Why it counts as self-care: Setting boundaries is a key component of looking after yourself

A lot of people I know like to end their week by going out with friends or doing a big long hike on a Saturday morning. While the invitation to join in always sounds like a good idea at the time, the reality is that I need a lot of down-time and I bloody hate walking. 

My self-care guru Brene Brown says that a moment of discomfort is better than hours or days of resentment, and this is something that I’m learning to apply a bit more readily in my own life.

You see, if I say yes to that 10km Saturday morning hike with my friends, I don’t have to suffer through the discomfort of saying “No, I don’t really want to go”. BUT I do have to go through the process of getting up early, driving to meet them, and then dragging my tired butt up and down some objectively very steep hills. I’ve learned from experience that I’d rather have a small moment of awkwardness when I say no then to feel cranky all of Sunday because I’ve said yes to something that doesn’t honour my way of looking after myself.

Don’t get me wrong, exercise is a huge part of my self-care routine, but I like what I like - I enjoy exercising by doing some boxing, cycling or swimming, I enjoy doing it in the afternoon or evening, and I enjoy doing it alone. It’s okay to have preferences when it comes to the way that you look after yourself, and it doesn’t make you a bad person for setting boundaries.

Saying 'no' as a form of self-care also applies to what we take on in our academic and professional lives. If you know that taking on another shift or putting your hand up for extra work is going to lead you to overcommit, then it's an act of self-preservation to say no. This can often leave people feeling  disappointed or sometimes annoyed, but taking on more than you can handle will leave you overworked, overtired and OVER IT. I'd encourage you to trust your gut when it comes to setting these kinds of boundaries - if your gut is telling you that you'll have to squeeze something in or that it'll be a stretch to include it in your schedule, then it's probably an early warning sign that you've got enough on your plate already. 

4. Get Adventurous with Rock-Climbing, Laser Tag or an Escape Room

Good alternative to: Your same old group catch up

Why it counts as self-care: It gets you out of the house, it gets you moving, and it’s something totally removed from your everyday life (and the stresses that come with it)

As much as I love some me time, catching up with friends is an important part of filling up my self-care cup. With that being said, sometimes it can feel draining if you do the same thing too often. Last year, my friends and I got stuck in a bit of a rut - we would either go to the pub, go out for dinner, or meet up at someone’s house to watch movies. While all of this stuff is really enjoyable, I don’t always want to spend my weekends eating and drinking, and there can be such a thing as too much Netflix.

So, we started throwing new activities in the mix. One weekend, we went bouldering together. I was terrible at it and fell off the wall a lot, but it was loads of fun and it got me moving. The next time, we tested out an escape room, and it is with great pleasure that I inform you that we cracked the code and managed to save a terrified (and imaginary) hostage from certain death. Whether it’s bowling, paintball, or go-karting, there are plenty of ways to catch up with your friends that aren’t completely boring, and surprisingly, it gave us more to talk about then if we were just sitting around on a couch filling each other in on our week. 

These activities are also great for my masculine-identifying friends. Most of the lads, ladies and non-binary folk that I hang with don’t really have an interest in a spa day or brunch, so these outings are a great way to unwind together while having some fun. 

5. Give Yourself Permission to Be a Little Bit Lazy and Messy

Good alternative to: At home-pamper sessions

Why it counts as self-care: It allows you to relax, gives your body and mind a break from your responsibilities, and rewards you with some of your favourite things

One of my favourite ways to unwind alone or with my partner and sister is to have a ‘lazy’ day. On these days, we don’t do any chores around the house, we wear our daggiest tracksuits, we stock up on our favourite indulgent snacks, and we watch horror movies or crime documentaries. Sometimes, we even drag our mattresses out into the living room so we can stay ‘in bed’ all day.

Self-care doesn’t always have to be glamorous or Instagram-worthy. In fact, I often do some of my very best self-care when I look like I’ve just rolled out of bed. The important thing is that, most of the time, I come out of our ‘lazy’ days feelings more relaxed and recharged than when I take on a huge, elaborate wellbeing routine. Sometimes looking after yourself can be as simple as some fried chicken, a good movie and a nap. Will everyone understand? No. If my parents walked into my apartment on a lazy day, they'd probably think that their daughter had been possessed by a sloth. Does that mean it's not necessary sometimes? Absolutely not!

With that being said, as someone who struggles with depression, doing less for self-care is something that only works for me in moderation. If I ate KFC every day, I’d feel pretty greasy and bad about myself. If I dragged my mattress into the living room every weekend, my sleep routine would suffer and I’d probably start feeling pretty low. If I had a movie marathon every night, my brain would turn to mush and I’d wind up feeling disconnected from the world around me. The key is to find a happy medium - when I work from home by myself all week, self-care looks like getting dolled up, going outside and connecting with the people I love. When I’ve been running around the city working and commuting and volunteering and running errands, staying at home and doing precious little is just what I need.