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MB95
Uber contributor

Aww @Janine-RO!!! Seriously, you are my absolute favourite!!! 😍 You're far too kind and I don't deserve (or agree with) half the stuff you said, but thank you. You truly are incredible and I hope YOU realise that and the impact you have on everyone in this community. I know for sure I wouldn't be here without it, so THANK YOU for everything you do. For all of us on here, not just me. You're an all round legend!! 

 

I had a good laugh at 'lets face it, I often say more than 2 things' 😂 You're preaching to the queen of novels here!! 😂 Idk how people write short messages.. it's a skill I am clearly yet to learn!! 

 

I LOVE that your mate is a MH OT!!! That's what I wanna do!!! I originally started cause I wanted to work in paeds but then I guess being on here has opened my eyes to a whole new world and going through my own shit kinda helps me to understand and relate? Idk. There's just so many in my cohort that laugh at MH and make really stigmatised comments about diagnoses and it just makes me so goddam angry!!!! It kinda motivates me even more to work in the MH field though cause they all freak out when I say it's my top pick and I just kinda wanna say a big 'fuck you' to them all and show them that we are just NORMAL people who have super deep feelings and have been through some serious shit. Ugh. Idk how to explain it. I just feel like it's a population that is so judged and I guess being on the receiving end of it and never having the right access to the support I needed makes me want to try and provide that and give that person a non-judegemental OT to work with? Idk. I was gonna change to psych but honestly, I feel like OT is almost more beneficial because it's hands on. I wish I had an OT tbh. Like I'm sure psychs help people and shit but idk, I'm not a talker, I'm more of a hands on person and am more likely to open up and heal if you get me outside doing shit I want to do instead of sitting in a small room staring at me trying to bring up shit memories and work out wtf is wrong with me. I don't mean to bag out psychs, I still often think of changing lol but I really like the hands on perspective of OT and feel like I will be able to connect with people so much more that way and see more change in someone if I can help them to find their inner self and connection to what's truly important to them. Idk if I'm making much sense so imma shut up now lol Sorry, I'm on a bit of a high tonight for some reason and just feeling very optimistic and ready to take on the world!! Not sure where it's come from but I'm defs loving it 😊 

 

I know a little bit about trauma cause my psych, well not that she's my psych anymore, but she went through some of it with me and was going to start EMDR at one stage but then good old covid ruined that and yeah. Idk. Like I can totally relate to all the diagnostic criteria and shit and she is pretty adamant I have PTSD along with other shit but idk. I think I've just been through some shit and I need to get over it already. It's been long enough and there's people who are far worse off than me and I think I just need to learn to be grateful for what I do have and to just leave the past in the past and work out how to move on from here. Idk. I just don't feel like I deserve it to be called trauma cause I also had good times too and yeah. It's nothing compared to what some people go through. I mean I don't remember a lot of it either but that's probably for the best really. I'm happy to try and talk about it after exams but tbh I feel completely fine now and am pretty set on doing this on my own. Before seeing my psych I used to deal with this on my own and I was so much stronger and knew how to deal with it. Trying to work through things and remember and talk about stuff just makes me lose that strength and become dependent on other people to stay safe and quite literally, alive. And tbh I hate that so much. It just makes me feel so weak and incapable and it's like I completely lose who I am. I just need to learn how to gain control of it again and I'm sure I'll be fine! 😊 

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