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I'm sorry you're feeling so much self-hate and comparing yourself to others has made you feel like you're ungrateful and shouldn't be sad 😞 I don't think comparing ourselves to others is ever helpful, because everyone is unique and valid. I get a similar thing where I think why am I so mentally effed up when literally nothing has happened to me, no trauma or anything like that and I feel so horrible for feeling bad because others have it so much worse. But like how does thinking that way help anyone? It just makes us feel worse hey? Your problems are valid, you are valid! (so cheesy sorry)