Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx, so sorry that you are having such a hard time. I can imagine that not getting the grade you want must be so distressing for you. I can recognise how it must be so painful to do so well in the subjects that you weren't expecting to and then do not as well in the one you were expecting to. Try to be gentle with yourself and not blame yourself so much. Sometimes life throws us curveballs and it can just really suck. Having episodes and appointments is nothing to be ashamed of and I can't imagine that that would be a burden on anyone. Everyone is "abnormal" in some way. People may appear to be "normal" to others, but everybody has something that they are dealing with. It's just the deal when we come to this planet. Agreed some have more to deal with than others, however the power of our story lies within the resilience, getting up again after not getting the first, second, third, fourth etc time and trying again. You can always find a way to get the grade ATAH you need even if you need to study some subjects next year. I get that this idea may not suit you, it definitely didn't when I was trying to complete year 12.
In my last year of high school, I did not have the best time and I failed. A teacher suggested that I repeat the year and I really hated the idea, however I tried to redo year 12. I was still having a hard time and I left school for a few years. When a bit of time passed, I discovered what I wanted to study and I went back as a mature age student and what I didn't get to complete in high school didn't matter, because the criteria to enter into the course was different. When I went back to study, I really loved it, because being a mature age student I actually appreciated everything I was learning and seeing through a different lens. If I knew at 18 that I would love to study later in life I would never have worried, yet it's hard to know what we don't know. I understand that you may want to start uni next year like most people in your class, believe me I get it. Sometimes it just sucks because sometimes we need to look after ourselves first before we can do things that others do.
There's nothing wrong with you. We all have different life paths and our own paths are unique and special to each and every one of us. I'm sorry to hear that the girls did not text you back when you tried to organise something. I can understand how this can be difficult and how it can seem like they are rejecting you. Not all people have that need to reply back once they get a message and that can be very difficult when you're expecting a text back. Speaking to a teacher would be so great, they would have a better idea how to help you. Sometimes it can be very hard for them to know what to do and we need to give them a helping hand, so that they can know what to say and how to support at times. You will not be wasting their time, that is what they are there for. You will be making good use of their time.
Thank you for letting us know that you are safe. You are very important to us here and we are always here to listen to you and have you express what is happening for you. You matter and it is an honour to read your story tonight. We want you around ask you to keep us informed here, so we continue to know what is happening in your world.