Heya @MB95 I've been catching up on your thread and wanted to say hi.
As I read through what I'm noticing is how undeserving you feel at the moment. I get you... because when you feel so low it's like your brain won't let you believe that people value you, love you and want to be there for you. It can just be too much to take in at times. What I would like to say is that us staff members are never sick of any member of this community. Yes we do have a role to play in making sure everyone is safe - but at the end of each day we have nothing but genuine care everyone here.
We care for you and it makes us happy to see you reaching out to your friends here because you have been going through a hard time. There is a time and place for being alone and processing - and similarly there are times where you just need other human beings.
You've mentioned knowing that you need to see your psychologist but physically not being able to. It's very understandable that you'd be feeling hesitant but I hope over time (and it doesn't matter how long it takes) that you can reach out to your psych again.
It can be so tempting to shelve parts of ourselves that we think are too much...but I know with every fiber of my being that you deserve support. I really, really hope that seeing your family can be a comforting experience for you. It's okay that you kinda forgot they were there, you've been surviving and that takes a lot of energy.
