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Welcome to the forums @quietgirl - it's so good to have you here. 
@Lost_Space_Explorer5 has already posted some really helpful information, but I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry to hear about your depression and distress, I can hear in your words the depth of pain you're feeling right now.
I'm so sorry too that you've been finding relationships hard - please be kind to yourself, it's not easy to navigate relationships and intense emotions when you're in pain. 

You asked about coping mechanisms - can I ask what you've tried in the past that's helped?
As Lost_Space_Explorer5 said, I'm also wondering if you have anyone in your life to talk to - someone close to you, or a counsellor for example?
Please feel free to reach out  here any time - we're here for you.