Hey @Tallboi21
Firstly, welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry to hear what happened with this girl. I can imagine it’s a pretty disheartening feeling in reflecting that this has happened in the past.
It sounds like you felt you were going on the up-and-up, in taking care of yourself and working on being a better person. I know it can be a weird one to sit with, but just because you experienced a rejection, doesn’t mean you aren’t becoming a better person, still. It sounds like you feel pretty flat in getting a cancelation message via text, even though you felt confident going into the second date. Please try not to hold it hard on yourself. At the end of the day, we are only 50% of a relationship, and a part of opening ourselves up to the possibility of a relationship, is allowing ourselves to put our guard down and be vulnerable.
It’s probably one of the hardest things to find the right balance in being honest and transparent, and being mindful of opening up too much. Rejection is a very normal part of trying to find someone to be with, even though it can really hurt sometimes. Have you talked to your friends about what happened?
I don’t know if this would be helpful, but it can help to re-empower us by reframing the rejection from something along the lines of “What am I doing wrong?” and internalizing to “What can I learn from this experience going forward?”. Do you feel like that’s something that might work for you?
Rejections can be a time full of reflection and rumination, and sometimes, we have to let it process. Do you feel like there’s something that can help you take your mind off things when it gets too intense?
Sending you all the best luck going forward. Putting your heart out there is a difficult and brave thing.
