AAAAAHHHHHH @Blake_RO you are the first and only other person with bipolar 2 that I know thank youuuuu 😭😭😭
Yeah this is a new chapter with plenty of mixed feelings. I feel like it’s hard enough for anyone to make plans about their future. But then you throw in mental illness…
I’ve already learnt about expectations to know exactly what you want to do with your life. But I already know going against that is an option. When picking subjects for year 11 and 12, everyone expected me to know what I wanted to do and what my life was going to look like. But I was just trying to figure out how to survive that hour!
But eventually, I went against everyone’s expectations and left high school early, half way through year 11.
But right now feels different, even bigger than that.
Yeah I have hobbies. Music, photography, few arty things.
But I don’t really enjoy anything emotionally. Only cognitively.
My life feels like it’s full of extremes. I’m either obsessed with my hobbies, or couldn’t care less.
Hobbies: yes. Do I care about them or have any desire to do them at all: no
It’s hard because I feel somewhat expected to make decisions without mental illness in the picture. But that’s not possible.
And it’s hard to focus on yourself when you don’t even really know what you want/need/who you are.
I’m yet to talk about this with my psychologist yet because it’s mainly been since my last appointment that I’ve really started to feel like this.
As per another one of my posts, I send her an email before our session to kind of get it started. It’s great because I find writing way easier than taking. I’m more likely to tell her about my issues in writing, compared to verbally to her face during our sessions.
Wanted to share a few interesting things from this last week…
Last week I got my license! Which is soooooo awesome. Then on Monday I left work early because bipolar told me to cry and I couldn’t stop. Thursday I had a sudden job interview. Then Thursday afternoon my budgie died (I was proud of myself because I still went to my friend’s house, just to get out of the house. Meant I wasn’t home when he died).
Life is soooooo weird 🙂
