Hey @Cinnamon_Bear so stoked to hear that you've got a therapist you'll be able to start seeing soon! Can definitely be a bit scary your first time, but it does get easier. It can be really hard to say how it will go, because it depends entirely on whether or not the therapist is a good match - someone you feel you can open up to, who is supportive and non-judgemental, and who can challenge you in just the right way to help you make progress. The first appointment will probably be mostly about getting to know you and what has brought you into therapy. The therapist should hopefully lead the way, asking you some questions and stuff. You can always let them know that you're not really sure what to say - or you could even write down some stuff and take it with you. Stuff you're struggling with, things you wish were different, stuff like that. As for improvement, well that is hard to say, but it may feel very slow at first. Making big changes to your life, your way of thinking, your inner monologue, this stuff does take time. But hopefully in time you will start to notice a shift. It does take some work, but it is so worth it, in my experience.
Sounds like you're feeling really alienated at school, which is so, so hard. Especially feeling like you don't really have a group of friends that you feel at home with. I know you may have heard this before, but things do tend to get better after high school. Again, it may take some time, but you will find your people, especially if you make progress in therapy to help you understand yourself better. And if you need to skip out on some of those social activities in order to protect yourself from feeling that anxiety, I think that is okay to do.
