Hey @lemurien just stopping in to offer some support as well. I'm glad you've got a psychologist you feel you connect with and who has some good insights - emotional regulation can be really tricky for folks with ADHD. One of the best resources I've ever found for understanding ADHD from a non-DSM perspective is this collection of three articles, called the Three Pillars of ADHD:
I don't think you're lazy, not in the slightest. I just think you're probably dealing with a lot more than many other folks might realise. There's even a school of thought that says laziness does not exist - here's a link to an article about it, and heck there's even a book about it. And while some folks with ADHD do tend to appear like they're always on the go, always energetic, I think for most of us it's not always like that, and sometimes that energy can feel totally out of reach. It's also probably why ADHD burnout is so common - it can appear as though the ADHDer is kicking goals and living life, but has a lot more going on internally trying to balance everything life throws at us. Sometimes it just takes one wobble to reach a critical point of collapse, and then all the spinning plates come tumbling down at once.
Resilience can indeed be exhausting. It's a good thing to have for sure, and can be improved like any other skill. I thought I'd share two things here - first is this Ted Talk about 'The Mask of Resilience' (hot tip - it's a common ADHD struggle to try to sit through videos without that iconic restlessness kicking in, but if you use the settings to increase playback speed it can be a lot easier to get through 😉). The second is this collection of Resources for Resilience, which has a range of exercises to try when feeling dysregulated.
I hope all this stuff is helpful - it's a huge info-dump so feel free to take your time with it!
