Hey @Lime_Dinosaur
I'm really sorry to hear how much pain you are in right now. Breakups are so difficult to go through. Hearing that someone you loved and were with for more than a year suddenly wanted to end the relationship must have been really hard to hear and understand. I can see you still have a lot of questions and it can be hard to think about all of the 'what ifs' as well.
You deserve someone who loves you for you. And from reading your post, I can see you are a really caring person who gives so much love to those close to you. Your energy and expression of care for others is such a lovely thing that will hopefully attract the right person to you in the future (someone great that you deserve).
For now, as much as you can, focus on looking after yourself. Your feelings are all valid and like @ayrc_1904 said, it's ok to sit in those negative or uncomfortable feelings for a while, but it is important to find your support system.
Do you have any activities you might have really enjoyed or done on your own before being in a relationship, that you stopped doing when you were dating? Or things you sacrificed on your end to make the relationship work? Maybe you can build up those activities again and slowly learn to love being in your own company again.
💙
