Hi AcidMonster55, thank you for sharing with the community about what’s been going on for you at the moment. It’s not always easy to open up and vent, and it shows a lot of resilience and strength in doing so.
I can hear how overwhelming it has been, particularly with the burden of masking and being unable to express all your emotions and parts of your identity to people. It also sounds like it has been really challenging to navigate your own wellbeing while also facing external pressures and the idea of needing to achieve and be an involved student. It sounds like this masking as well as the fear of disappointment has started to take a great toll on you, and your feelings are definitely valid.
I’m wondering, when experiencing these heavy emotions, is there any self-care that you do, that can help alleviate some of this stress and anxiety?
I’m sorry to hear that your interaction with your mum about orchestra was not supportive but rather dismissive. It can be really disheartening, when those who are the closest, do not understand and can be harder to express true feelings to them, you’re not alone in this.
I can also hear how challenging and exhausting it has been to constantly battle with so many ‘Shoulds’ and ‘shouldnts’. The intensity of those thoughts are tough to deal with and I can imagine how hard it has been to carry all this on your mind.
I’m interested if you have had the chance to reach out to a friend about this or if your psychologist has been able to support you with these anxieties and the toll from masking?
It sounds like you have taken the steps to advocate for yourself with your family, but you might also be interested in this article about how to get your parents to really listen. Additionally, you may also want to check out this other article about strategies for dealing with the hard stuff
I want to thank you again for sharing and opening up with the community. I’m glad to hear that you are currently safe but If you would like to get some extra help, there is Kidshelpline where you can talk to a trained counsellor about what you’re going through and they can provide a listening ear and support.
We will also be sending you an email so please keep an eye out for that 🙂
