Hello, @Sunset_Crab !
im sorry you’ve been going through a really hard time. I resonate with your situation and feelings. As a people pleaser myself, I’ve learned how to try and create boundaries for myself.
i tend to also bend backwards for my friends and new people I meet. One time, I wanted to so desperately make a friend in uni that when these girls invited me out for lunch, I made them muffins and they ended up never talking to me again. They left me on read when I texted them, saying how I hope they enjoyed the muffins and I never got a thank you. (I kinda laugh about that moment now lmao)
overtime, I’ve been cautious about who I give my energy to. It’s hard for me to say no as well, especially when it comes to my friends.
I know how draining it is. I’m also the ‘mediator’ in my friend group and a lot of people tend to dump their problems onto me which can take a huge toll on you mentally.
I want you to know that you’re not alone in this. I’m still on my own journey at creating boundaries for myself. But I’ve gotten so much better! (I used to be the kind of person who would literally listen to those people in shopping centres who’d promote their company or hand out brochures..obviously I didn’t want to stand there and listen to them but I was afraid to turn them down…but now I can say ‘no’ without feeling too bad.)
I also listen to this song called ‘not my problem!’ By Laila to help cope with the stress of people pleasing and it helps because other peoples problems shouldn’t be your own.
I hope you’re doing so much better! We’re in this together🫂🩷
