thank you so much for sharing your own experience. It definitely helps reading them and being aware that this isn't something I'm fully experiencing alone.
I have tried to set some boundaries. I don't quite have the patience to calmly reword what I intend to say. I do say things like "please don't raise your voice at me", "I need you to show me the same respect I show you", and "I am a person too". I'm also met with the same response "don't tell me what to do", "I'm the adult, I don't have to respect you", etc. I try to find the middle ground and I'm always the one having to be the level headed one. But it's sort of like my mum wants to fight because when I end the argument and disassociate she gets angrier. I've just decided to stay in my room as much as I can. I still see her and we hang out but it's still some space between us to keep us from trying to attack each other.
The one thing that's keeping me by while waiting to move out is imagining how I would decorate my own place, the shows I would finally be able to binge, the food I can learn how to cook, the times I'll have my friends over, the traditions I'll start. It may not be finding a middle ground with my mum that'll help but at least it'll be hope for a better chapter of my life.
