Reasons why
1. frequent pattern over last few weeks is how I’ve had the occasional productive day and then feel so deflated for so many days after even though I did very few things
2. heard about mr orange taking over Palestine
3. most times when I try to exercise and find a workout on YouTube I get distracted and spend hours working on unrelated things and feel guilty after (and no don’t tell me to be kinder to myself, tell my how to actively stop procrastinating while I’m procrastinating!
4. my favourite character in a video game franchise I’ve been getting into died (and yes, I know, stop looking at that if it makes me sad but firstly, I just listen to the gameplay while drawing, and secondly, the next part of the game is about solving how the character died and who killed them and I desperately want to know to have closure)
5. I feel like I’m just doing things to escape this crushing hopelessness about the world, my insecurity in my leadership abilities and how I’m still salty about an anti racism book being confiscated even though it’s been weeks.
‘Just get over it/stop looking at that stuff/why look at that/do that if it’s making me upset’ BECAUSE I PHYSICALLY CANT OK ITS MOT MY FAULT I GET DRAINED EASILY AND THE NEWS IS LEFT ON WHEN NO ONES HOME AND IM A SENSITIVE SNOWFLAKE.
